


Skyscraper

by Fornever_Eden



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Violence, Drama, Established (sort of) Marvey, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 03:42:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3104276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fornever_Eden/pseuds/Fornever_Eden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time Mike closed his eyes the demons from his past came out to haunt him. He thought he had buried the memories that he could never forget deep within himself; he thought he had run far enough away. He didn't; they still came out, they still found him. </p>
<p>Domestic violence NOT between Mike and Harvey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Demons

**Author's Note:**

> So new story. Yay! And I still have an unfinished one...Apparently my muse doesn't want me to do work. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Suits...well except for the DVDs but that's different. I also don't own the songs used as chapter titles.
> 
> The story title comes from Demi Lovato's Skyscraper.

Don't get too close

It's dark inside

It's where the demons hide

  


"Demons" - Imagine Dragons

**Chapter 1: Demons**

If someone had told Mike that he would be dating Harvey, he wouldn’t have believed them. Sure, he couldn’t deny that he had developed feelings for his boss. A full blown, heart pounding crush. But he never thought Harvey would ever feel the same way. So, he had filed it away as never going to happen. But then, two months ago, they found themselves celebrating a big win at a local bar. The morning light brought the evidence that they had drunkenly finished the celebration at Harvey’s condo. Mike shyly asked Harvey if he regretted it. Harvey kissed him with the same amount of passion as the night before saying he was done trying to convince himself that he didn’t feel something for Mike. But, neither man was ready for the office to know. Mike didn’t want anyone thinking he got special treatment because he was sleeping with his boss. After the debacle with Scottie and having to convince Jessica just to hire her, Harvey wasn’t ready to have to defend his relationships. So they decided to wait before telling anyone else.

“Stop fussing with your tie. You’re going to mess it up and I’m going to have to redo it.” Harvey said pulling Mike’s hand away even though a light smile played on his lips. 

Ray was driving them to a party thanking all of Pearson Specter clients. To Mike it seemed like a pointless party. They could be doing other things that didn’t involve a bow tie...or clothes.

“It just feels weird. I was not meant to wear a bow tie.” Mike sighed before taking Harvey’s hand in his mainly to stop him from grabbing the tie again. But he also wanted to feel Harvey before he was off-limits at the party.

“You look sexy.” Harvey whispered against Mike’s ear.

“You’re just saying that because you want to get into my pants later.” Mike turned his head chastely kissing his lips.

Harvey hummed as he leaned in nibbling on Mike’s lip. “Doesn’t change the fact that you look delicious. I’m seriously reconsidering this deal we made. Everyone should know that you’re mine.” Harvey’s growl sent a shiver down Mike’s spine. “Everyone in that room is going to be imagining you naked, wondering what it would feel like to be inside you. But I’ll be the only one to know. How tight you are. How you look just as you’re reaching your limit. You were made for me only.”

Mike groaned feeling his pants become uncomfortably tight just as the Chilton’s lobby lights lit up the car.

“I hate you.” Mike said shakily. He licked his lips chasing after Harvey’s lingering earthy taste. “You timed that.”

Harvey chuckled before leaning in to kiss Mike one last time. “The party is just for a few hours, then,” He cupped Mike’s cheek stroking his bottom lip with his thumb, “I’ll show you how you are mine.”

“I vote we do that now. Screw this party.”

Harvey laughed. “Sorry, kid, Jessica made this mandatory. Do you need Ray to drive around the block?”

Breathing deeply, he gave Harvey a side glance. “I truly and honestly hate you. You are the devil.”

“Come on, you’re wasting Ray’s time.” Harvey said finally. “I’ll make it up to you tonight.” 

The moment that Harvey entered the room it seemed like everyone (mainly the women and some men) turned toward him. People kept shaking his hand congratulating him on various cases or telling him that they looked forward to working with him in the future. Mike bit his lip trying not to laugh at the clear boredom written in Harvey’s eyes. Sure Harvey tried to include Mike into the conversations, but after awhile it was clear that the clients weren’t going to remember Mike as anything other than Harvey’s associate. 

“You’re supposed to be socializing and--”

“Telling them thanks for getting sued and giving us your money?” Mike supplied smiling behind his champagne flute.

“Not helping.” Harvey said raising his eyebrow. “I know you don’t want to be here, but be professional at least.”

Mike chuckled softly. “Me unprofessional? You look like it’s taking all your willpower not roll your eyes the next time someone says they’re amazed at how young you are. New York’s best closer resorting to angsty teenage behavior. Scandalous.” Harvey’s lip twitched trying not to smile. “Alright, I’m going to “mingle” and by that I mean I think Jessica has seen my face enough to know that I was here and I can disappear.”

“You’re not leave me here. If I have to suffer through this, you do too.”

Mike waved Harvey off, “I’ll be around. Primarily by the bar.”

Harvey sighed. “Just don’t get drunk or tipsy. You’re still representing the Firm. And you owe me.”

After getting a beer, Mike made his way to one of the vacant round bar tables. From the table, Mike could see Harvey laughing at something a client made. For the first time, it sounded like it was an honest laugh. Shortly after Jessica joined the group. Mike sipped his beer enjoying watching Harvey in his natural element. No matter how much Harvey bitched about these parties, Mike knew Harvey would never trade this life for anything else.

“Mike?” A voice said softly from behind Mike. 

Mike plastered on another fake smile wishing he could go home instead of meeting all these clients. “Yes?” 

It was like everything stopped when Mike turned to toward the voice. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t hear anything. Too afraid to even tear his eyes from the person in front of him. The man looked professional in his suit with his dark hair styled back. But the eyes were the same. Cold, calculated, terrifying.

“It is you. It’s been awhile. How are you?” The man said smiling. A cold shiver ran down Mike’s spine. He bit his lip to stop from whimpering.

“What are you doing here?” Mike rasped, hating how his voice cracked.

“I’m a client. After you left me, my business really took off. “ The man asked smirking. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m a lawyer.” Mike said almost in a whisper.

“Good for you.” The man said like he was praising a dog. “You finally managed that?”

Mike could hear the patronizing tone. The paralyzing spell the man cast broke. Mike cleared his throat, courage slowly taking control Mike said, “I have to go.” With that Mike turned away.

A familiar vice like grip dug into his forearm. And just like that the fear snapped back into place. 

“Stay; let’s talk. I want to know what you have been up to.” The man smiled pleasantly. 

“Let go.” Mike said with as much authority as he could muster. 

“Mike, I’ve changed. After you left I went into counseling. I’m better.” The man said not letting go of Mike’s arm.

“It doesn’t feel like it because your fingers are still squeezing my arm. I said let go.” Mike said again trying to yank out his arm. His breathing becoming panicked.

“Mike. Stop it. You’re being childish. I just want to talk. I want to know who you’ve been whoring yourself off to because I know you’re too stupid to go to law school. So who did you have to fuck to get job here?” The hand squeezed harder making his eyes start to tear. 

The next thing Mike knew his hand stung as he stared at the bright pink mark spreading on the other man’s face. Everyone in the room was silent. Mike struggled not to take a step back as he watched the familiar unpredictable storm brewing behind the dark eyes. Mike’s ears still rung from the slap. He was vaguely aware of Jessica standing a few table over narrowing her eyes and telling Harvey to deal with the mess. 

Once Harvey walked over, he cleared his throat and the other man dropped his hand. Mike was suddenly very aware of everyone staring at him and the disappointment on Harvey’s face.

“Mike?” Harvey said trying not to show any emotions. It was clear that Mike was strung up on emotions and the wrong tone could send him over. “Apologize to our client.”

Mike’s jaw dropped; he was completely floored by Harvey’s demand without asking what happened. He didn’t need to see it to know the look of smugness written on the other man’s face.

“Mike.” Harvey repeated like he was reprimanding a petulant child. Sighing, when it was clear that Mike wasn’t going to saying anything, “On Mike’s behalf I apologize for the transgression. It was completely unprofessional. And as his boss, I take full responsibility and will deal with the matter. Please, let me get you a drink.” Harvey said gesturing toward the bar, leading him away without a second glance at Mike.

“Ross, I don’t care what happened, I don’t care if he told you to jump. Trevor Evans is an important client. More important than you. You better hope that Harvey can fix this, and Evans doesn’t leave us.” Jessica said smiling even though Mike could see the murderous look. Mike bit back every comment he thought unwilling to let Trevor win again.

Mike took one last look at Harvey who was engrossed in whatever Trevor was saying before hightailing out of the room. Once out in the frosty New York night it felt like he could finally breathe. He squeezed his eyes shut before setting out for the long walk home. 

It took him an hour to walk back to his Brooklyn apartment. Harvey's place was closer and they had planned on staying the weekend.

"It's going to be okay." Mike whispered as he opened his door with shaky hands. 

Mike stood in his living room staring at TV wondering what he was supposed to do. Every time he closed his eyes the demons from his past came out to haunt him. He thought he had buried the memories that he could never forget deep within himself; he thought he had run far enough away. He didn't; they still came out, they still found him. 

“It’s going to be okay.” Mike repeated unsure of who he was trying to convince.

His phone buzzed. And for a second terror seized him until he realized it was just a text from Harvey.

  
**Where are you?**

Mike bit his lip trying to stop the memories from coming back. It was an innocent enough text but it was so painfully familiar. Memories of Trevor bubbled just beneath the surface. Mike whimpered before turning off his phone and crawled into bed. Curling into a ball, he hugged himself tightly before drifting off into a nightmare fraught sleep.


	2. Alibis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! You guys are amazing! I wasn't expecting this kind of response. It makes me really happy. And a little terrified...I hope the rest of the story continues to meet your expectations. 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter (although I'm guessing if you clicked this story you read the tags) shouldn't actually be a surprise. But there are some short scenes of domestic violence in this chapter. There is also one that has an implied rape. It isn't graphic or anything. The scenes are in italics. The scenes are also not in chronological order. There is also one warning that I will put at the bottom of this chapter.
> 
> Also, if you feel like I should include more tags please let me know. I'm still learning how this tagging thing works.

**Chapter 2: Alibis**

I feel so damned worthless

Another day is gone and all my faces are alibis

All my faces are alibis

And me, I’m half the man I wanted to be

“Alibis” - Marianas Trench

The moment Harvey woke up the next morning he reached for his phone. He didn't understand why Mike was acting like a spoiled brat just because he was told to apologize to Trevor. Angrily, Harvey tossed his back onto his nightstand as he threw the blankets to the side. Harvey was hoping that everything would be better after a good nights sleep. He had hoped that Mike would have responded at least.

It wasn't better. 

Mike still hadn't responded. 

Harvey padded out to the kitchen intent on getting on with his day. He leaned against the counter staring at the machine that was going to bring him life as he thought, ‘If Mike was going to act like a child then he could have his temper tantrum alone.’ 

He had better things to do than deal with an child. If he wanted to be around children he would have become a teacher. For the rest of the weekend he worked on cases, ran, anything to keep his mind wandering from his boyfriend who still hadn't called. Yet it still hurt knowing that Mike didn't want to talk to him, didn’t even want to let Harvey know that he was okay.

**> >>**

Mike uncurled himself, swearing when he realized that he had fallen asleep in his suit. Slowly, his muscles still stiff from the position, he shucked off his wrinkled jacket and dress shirt. His hand froze when he saw the five long deep purple marks marring his otherwise flawless pale arm. Struggling to breathe, he made his way to the shower.

He mechanically scrubbed every part of his skin in the shower trying to remove the permanent feeling of Trevor. An hour later, wincing, Mike gently touched the familiar markings on his arm. Sighing with practiced ease he gathered his first aid and began wrapping his forearm not wanting to look at the ugliness anymore. 

Then Mike sat on the edge of his bed reluctant to look at his phone. He remembers the days after he left Trevor. Every time, he turned it on, it was like his inbox exploded both from the sheer number of messages and Trevor’s anger that bled out. But once Mike turned the phone off his fingers itched to turn it back on just to hear Trevor’s voice again. But he couldn’t. Because it never took long for him to miss Trevor and his fingers to search for Trevor’s name. He hated how after everything he had still wanted Trevor back then. 

Now, after all these years, if Mike heard a message from Trevor would he want him again?

Realistically, Mike knew that the odds of Trevor having his private number was unlikely. It didn’t stop the fear from seeping into every cell in his body. 

Finally, Mike sighed turning the phone on to see there was only a few new text messages from Harvey. Nothing since last night. 

Frowning, Mike thought, ‘Did Harvey give up already?’ 

Not feeling remotely hungry, but knowing that he should eat something, Mike ventured out to the kitchen. Every step he took a carefully constructed wall came crashing down as memories threatened to tear him apart.

_Trevor pulled at Mike’s hair as he yanked his head back. Blood rolled down Mike’s chin onto the pale blue kitchen floor. “Do you enjoy making me hate you? I’m the only who could ever love a slut like you.”_ __

_Mike whimpered hearing a zipper being pulled down._

Mike quickly shook his head trying to dispel the thoughts. Instead the memories came, flooding his mind.

_“Hi, Trevor.” Mike said, tentatively pressing a kiss on Trevor’s cheek. He carefully pulled his jacket off to hang on the holder. “Dinner is ready.”_ __

_“I hope you didn’t ruin it like always.” Trevor said sitting at the table as Mike quickly brought out his dinner._ __

_“I probably did.” Mike said insecurely as he wrung his hands hoping that this time it was perfect. He had spent the entire day following the recipe exactly. Nothing unusual, Trevor didn’t like that; just all of his favorites._ __

_“It’s okay.” Trevor shrugged._ __

_Mike smiled, relieved that it was passable. “How was your day?”_ __

_The moment Trevor put his fork down without a sound, Mike knew it was the wrong thing to ask. His heart pounded in his chest as he mentally ran through the moment Trevor came home trying to look for a sign he missed. He must have missed something. He should have known._

_“I lost a client, and you’re asking me how my day was. You want to know how my day was? It was terrible. And I have to come home to you shitty cooking.” Trevor said slowly. “What’s the point of wasting my money on food that you’re going to ruin?”_

_The plate loudly clattered to the floor breaking into pieces splattering the risotto across the floor. Mike stood there petrified, unsure of what to do. “Well? Are you just going to leave it there? You’re so useless. I don’t know why I put with you.”_

Mike whimpered pushing himself up off the floor where he fell clutching his head. Nausea rolled in his stomach. He rushed to the toilet throwing up whatever little he had in his stomach. Wiping his mouth he stared at the pale reflection in the mirror above the sink. 

_“I’m lucky.” Trevor said sucking kisses along Mike’s jaw._ __

_“Why’s that?” Mike asked unable to contain his smile. He moaned at the feel of Trevor’s stubble._ __

_“If you were hotter, you could have had your pick.”_ __

_Mike dropped his hand from where it was entwined in Trevor’s hair. He pushed himself up off of the couch._ __

_“Sorry. That’s not what I meant. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m terrible with words.” Trevor pleaded, pulling Mike back down. “I meant I’m lucky that you chose me. Forgive me?”_ __

_“Yeah.” Mike whispered._

Mike shakily opened the medicine cabinet feeling along the top shelf. His fingers finally hit the antique metal cigarette holder. Pulling it down, he opened it running his fingers over the joints that he had kept hidden. He knew that it was wrong. He knew the moment that he hid the container that it was wrong. But he needed something to dull the pain.

Every time a memory pulled at the edges of his mind, Mike smoked. The haze pushed the memory back into the recess of his mind. But it wasn’t long before the demons came clawing back out tormenting him.

**> >>**

“Donna, has Mike come in yet?” Harvey asked when he approached her desk. Mike still hadn’t responded. Not that he cared. If Mike couldn’t be bothered, then neither could he. Only…it did bother Harvey.

“Boy Wonder? So, Jessica didn’t fire him?” Donna said. “I heard about what happened. It was kind of the only thing anyone could talk about when I got here. I heard that he ran out of the party.”

“Is he here?” Harvey asked again.

“Not that I know.” Donna said frowning.

Harvey nodded before taking his coffee into his office and closing the door behind him. He stared out the window sipping his coffee trying not to think about Mike. A few minutes later, Donna gently opened the door.

“Is everything okay? What happened?”

“Nothing.” Harvey sighed. “You know the story. Mike left. I texted him but he hasn’t replied.”

“You texted him?”

Harvey nodded, raising his eyebrow.

“He’s your..." Donna started before decided against it. "You let him leave a party, when he was clearly upset, by himself and you didn’t go talk to him. You texted him instead.”

“He didn’t reply to my text. If he wanted to talk he could have told me."

“You are thick. I don’t know why he puts up with you.” Donna said sinking into one of the chairs. “Maybe he’s waiting for you to come over.”

“Isn’t that overstepping the appropriate professional boundaries?” 

“Since when have you cared about that? You smoked pot with Mike, conspired to prank Louis, and then there was Zoe and Scottie. So, I’m not sure,” Donna said tapping her chin. “Where are these boundaries you’re speaking of? Is it in Hoboken? Is that why you won’t go there?”

“You’re not as funny as you think you are.” Harvey said leaning back in his chair.

“And on top of all of that, what makes this conversation funnier is that you and Mike are going out.”

Harvey almost dropped his mug he was holding as he stared at his assistant. “How’d--”

“I’m Donna. When are you going to stop questioning how I know things? Plus, I saw the over-the-moon eyes you two give each other when you think no one is paying attention. It makes me gag a little.” Donna rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry no one else knows. Everyone thinks Mike is still hung up on Rachel.”

“You think he’s been waiting for me to go over to his apartment?”

“I think you should have done that after the party.” Donna shrugged. “But yes, go talk to him. Find out what’s bothering him. Communication is key to any healthy relationship.”

**> >>**

The knocking at the door startled Mike awake. Sitting up, he smacked his mouth scrunching his face in disgust at the taste the weed left behind. Dragging his hand down his face, Mike stared at the blank TV screen trying to remember what he was doing.

“Mike open up. I know you’re in there. I can smell the weed.” 

Mike blinked remembering that someone was knocking. His heart pounded, hating that he felt the urge to cower in the corner.

“Fine. Donna told me that I should come over. Clearly she was wrong. Just come back to work or I’m going to have to fire you.” Harvey sighed through the door. Harvey waited a few minutes before shaking his head and heading back down the hallway. 

Slowly and ever so quietly, Harvey heard the door open.

The moment Harvey walked into the apartment he coughed choking on the thick looming smoke cloud. Mike just shrugged his shoulders as he gathered the multiple spent joints. 

Looking pointedly at the white bandages taking over most of Mike’s arm, Harvey asked, “What happened to you?” 

“I was cooking earlier and accidentally hit the pan.” Mike said nonchalantly as he shrugged his shoulders again. It was strange how easy the same old lies he used to say flowed out of him. It was stranger that it didn’t surprise him. 

Harvey glanced toward the empty kitchen sink and cleared stove. He raised his eyebrow silently challenging Mike’s statement. But all Mike did was move to sit in one of the chairs at the table lighting another joint.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough? You might become the first case of marijuana overdose. And I’m pretty sure we agreed to no more pot.” Harvey said irked by the nonchalant attitude.

Mike rolled his eyes stubbing it out.

Sighing, Harvey continued. “What’s going on? You didn’t respond to my texts. You didn’t come into work. You didn’t even call saying that you weren’t coming in.”

“Sorry.” Mike mumbled. “I wasn’t feeling well; I couldn’t find you, so I left.”

“Smoking made you better? I don’t even want to discuss with you right now, you breaking that rule.” Harvey shook his head at Mike’s blatant disregard to his rules. “Mike, I get it you didn’t like it that you were forced to apologize to Trevor. But it was just a misunderstanding. Trevor said he just wanted to talk to you. He wasn’t sure if you heard him that’s why he grabbed you. He admits that he should have let go when you asked him, but you didn’t have to slap him. He’s not mad.” Harvey explained.

“He’s a fucking liar.” Mike said drawing his legs up close to his chest, his fingers itching for another joint, anything to stop the memories from returning.

“He’s a—“

“Very important client, I know. Jessica gave me the speech about how he’s more important than me. So important in fact that my death is irrelevant as long as he’s still a client.”

“Alright, diva, tone it down. I don’t know what happened. And quite frankly it doesn’t matter; the bottom line is you shouldn’t have hit him. He is important, but I wouldn’t say he’s more important than you. Not to me at least.” Harvey said smiling. He reached out stroking Mike’s knee only for Mike to swat his hand away.

“Don’t touch me.” Mike closed his eyes reminding himself that this was different. It was different. “Sorry. It’s just I’m dirty; I haven’t showered since that night.”

“Mike?” Harvey asked raising his eyebrow.

“I’ll be at work tomorrow.” Mike said standing abruptly and walking to the bathroom. He turned the shower on without stepping inside waiting for his front door to open and close before sinking to the floor. He leaned his head against the wall. He couldn’t believe that he was able to hold it together. But a part of him was happy that Harvey was worried about him. “Don’t cry Mike. Tears don’t solve anything. He’d think you’re pathetic if he saw you like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Harvey is kind of oblivious. He doesn't do it intentionally, but it is something that will be discussed later in the story.
> 
> Knowing that there are people who are interested in this story motivate me to write faster.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment.


	3. King and Lionheart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a reminder that you're loved can keep the darkness away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are AMAZING! I am slowly responding to everyone. I appreciate the comments, kudos, everything.
> 
> As a heads up school is starting up soon so I'm not sure how often I will able to post. At least once a week though. I haven't worked out how long this story is going to be. Probably longer than my other ones. 
> 
> This chapter is lot fluffier, and shorter, than the previous ones. I felt like since there was so much drama in the first two something nice and sweet would be a good change.

And in the sea that’s painted black,

Creatures lurk below the deck

But you’re a king and I’m a lionheart.

“King and Lionheart” - Of Monsters and Men

**Chapter 3: King and Lionheart**

True to his word, Mike returned to work the next day. The other associates gathered around Mike drilling him about what happened. More importantly what he did to stop Jessica from firing him. Mike was able to laugh it off giving them a carefully crafted story. He decided it was better to go with the story that Trevor was telling. Just like old times.

Sighing, Mike decided that it was time to see Harvey. He could only avoid him for so long before people started wondering what was wrong.

“Glad to see you’re better.” Donna said looking up at him when he walked up to her desk carrying a cup of her favorite coffee. She stood swiftly pulling him into a hug.

“Word has it that you were the one to convince Harvey to stop by my place.” Mike said smiling hugging her back. “Didn’t know you cared.” 

“Of course I care. When you’re happy Harvey is happy, and a happy Harvey makes me happy.”

“He bought you a new pair of shoes, didn’t he?”

“Louboutins.” Donna said stepping back to show Mike. “Do you like?”

“They look exactly like the ones you wore last week.” 

“How dare you.” Donna exclaimed putting her hand to her chest. “Those were taupe; these beauties are nude.”

“I’m so sorry.” Mike laughed.

Donna smiled fondly. “It’s good to hear you laugh.”

“I’m fine, Donna, I really am. Thanks for worrying about me. Is the king in?”

Donna nodded. “He may think he’s king but we both know who the true ruler is, peasant. By the way, I know.” She whispered leaning in. “I won’t tell anyone that you and Harvey finally hooked up.”

Mike nodded numbly.

Donna put her hand up before Mike could say anything. “Shh, I am amazing.”

“I never doubted you.”

A smile tugged at Mike’s lips as he fondly watched Harvey work. His back was facing the door as he read the file in his hand. But every so often he glanced up to look out the window. Mike wondered briefly what he was thinking about. Was he thinking about the case? Was he thinking about him? 

“Go on in.” Donna said sitting back down. “He’s been pacing, trying not to ask me if you came in. He was worried, you know. He thought that you didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Don’t do that to us again.”

Donna reminded Mike of a conversation he and Harvey had at the start of their relationship. Harvey was worried that Mike wouldn’t understand that he and Donna came as a package deal. 

_They were at a restaurant, toward the end of the meal Harvey put his fork down. He tapped his finger on the wine glass without taking a sip._

_“What’s up?”_

_The muscles in Harvey’s jaw twitched at the slang._

_“You’re such an old man.” Mike mumbled loud enough for Harvey to hear. “Which I don’t have a problem with.”_

_“That’s not the issue.” Harvey rolled his eyes. “ I...I don’t know how to say this. But I think it’s something that I need to be very clear about before--”_

_“We get too serious?”_

_Harvey nodded sipping his wine finally. “It’s about Donna. We slept together, but that was a long time ago. And now we’re like siblings.”_

_“Okay.” Mike said drawing out the syllables, uncertain of how Harvey thought he was going to react. “That’s...you want to talk about our past sex partners now? I mean I know we should at some point. But here?”_

_“That’s not what I’m getting at.” Harvey said resting his forehead in his hand. “She does a lot for me, more than necessary. And I frequently buy her expensive things as a way to thank her.”_

_Mike tilted his head. “Are you saying you’re worried that I’m going to be jealous that she got a new Michael Kors bag and I didn’t?”_

_“I always thought you were more of a Chanel person.”_

_“Coco just gets me.” Mike bit his lip to stop from laughing. “When I feel like getting the spring collection, I’ll let you know, Sugar Daddy.”_

_“Thanks for turning something I was seriously worried about into a joke.”_

_“I’m sorry.” Mike reached across the table for Harvey’s hand. He gently stroked it with his thumb. “It’s just I have been working with you for a few years now. So, I already know about your relationship with Donna. I know she means a lot to you. And I’m not dating you because you can buy expensive things. Actually, I was kind of worried you’d think my tastes were beneath you. I mean, I thought you were going to have a heart attack that first time you stayed at my apartment.”_

_“I was. But that wasn’t because it’s cheap or in Brooklyn. You need to clean that place. I’m pretty sure you have rats.”_

_“Anyway, it’s a good thing I’m a simple man with simple tastes. Harvey, I know you and Donna are a packaged deal. I went into this knowing it.”_

_“Thanks.” Harvey said softly._

_“Ready to go?” Harvey asked after a few minutes. Mike nodded. “By the way you’re paying for dinner since I’m not your Sugar Daddy. And for someone with simple tastes you picked an expensive restaurant.” Harvey added walking toward the exit without stopping._

_“Harvey! I can’t afford this.” Mike said looking at the bill before chasing after Harvey. “Next time we’re going to McDonalds or you’re giving me a pay raise.”_

Mike knocked on the glass door before entering. “Hey, Harvey.”

Harvey tossed the file on to the table, looking up. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks for the soup you left.” Mike rubbed the back of his neck suddenly feeling uncomfortable in a room he’s always felt at home in.

“You found it. That’s good.”

“Um. So, I just wanted to let you know that I came in.” Mike said slowly backing toward the door since it was clear that Harvey didn’t have anything else to say.

"You know you can tell me anything."

Mike nodded slowly even though he couldn't. He can't tell anyone. It had to be a secret that would die with him. 

“How’s the Quincy case going?” Harvey sighed noticing Mike’s reluctance and desire to run, but he was unwilling to let Mike leave right away. 

Mike sighed with relief that Harvey was dropping the subject before moving to sit across from Harvey. “His lawyer is being a pain in the ass. He’s withholding something; I can tell. But I can’t get access to the files I need. I’ve been looking through the files that I do have. There’s not enough evidence, that I can find, for a warrant and he knows it.”

“If you want, bring them over tonight. I’ll help you.” Harvey stood buttoning his jacket. “We can get something to eat on the way to my place. Your place probably still reeks.”

“Harvey…” Mike started. “You’re not going to yell at me about the weed?”

“No.” Harvey replied. He started gathering his things, turning off his computer before gripping the edge of his desk. “It bothers me, but no I’m not going to scold you. You’re not a child. If you want to fuck with your future, me included--” Mike smirked, raising his eyebrows. “Not what I meant. Well, maybe, shit, never mind. We’ll talk about that later.” If Mike wasn’t paying attention he probably would have missed the slight pink tinge on Harvey’s cheeks as he stumbled over his words. 

“I know what you meant. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you in an uncomfortable position.” Mike said. “Pun intended. This is a new side of you. You’re adorable when you’re flustered.”

“Are you done?” Harvey asked raising his eyebrow. He cleared his throat trying to make his cheeks return to a normal color. "I'm sorry I didn't even listen to your side of the story. I should have. I don’t know what happened with you and Trevor but I know something is bothering you. And I’ll be honest, last night with the marijuana and your bandaged arm…" Mike could hear the wavering in Harvey's voice. "It scared me."

The corners of his lips turned upwards slightly hearing the rare apology as he shrugged. “Let’s just forget about it. Doesn’t matter anymore.”

“You're not hurting yourself, are you?"

Mike shook his head. "I'm not hurting myself. But Harvey I…don't take this personally, but I don't want to talk about it. Maybe sometime in the future, but not right now."

"Before I accept that, there are two things I want you to promise me: One, you don't hurt yourself, and two, when you're ready you to talk, tell me what's bothering you because I want to know. What we have its fairly new. I know it's difficult to talk about them sometimes, but I want this to last so I don't want you to hide things from me."

Mike’s mouth dropped slightly, stunned at Harvey’s level of understanding, and more so, that he wanted their relationship to last. Harvey saw a future for them.

“Are you coming? I’m thinking Thai for dinner.” Harvey said as he walked out the office. 

“Sounds good.” For the first time since the party an honest smile spread across Mike’s face reaching his eyes. “I thought we weren’t going to fraternize at the office.”


	4. Oblivion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently when I said once a week I meant once a month...I haven't abandoned this story or any of my other ones for that matter. I'm just in the middle of writing a very important paper like one I need to write in order to graduate. So unfortunately somethings got pushed to the side. As a result, I make no promises on when the next installment will happen. But I will let you know that I have a fair amount written for the next chapter.
> 
> Thanks for sticking through! I love reading all the comments and seeing all the kudos. They truly do motivate me to continue writing.

When you fall asleep,  
With your head,  
Upon my shoulder.  
When you're in my arms,  
But you've gone somewhere deeper.

"Oblivion" - Bastille

**Chapter 4: Oblivion**

After a few weeks it seemed like everything was back to normal. The bruises on Mike's arm slowly faded to a splotchy yellow eventually leaving behind only the ghost of Trevor's hand. Mike and Harvey returned to the usual bantering. Once they left the office it was just the two of them. That was all that Mike needed. That was all he ever wanted.

"Your references are getting ridiculous. There is no way you are Neeson." Harvey raised his eyebrow.

"It's just because you're getting old. You have to watch the new stuff too. That's why it's called pop culture." Mike said. "I was all like 'I will find you; I will kill you' yesterday with the opposing counsel. I mean I wasn’t serious about the killing part. But it worked." It was a rare moment where it was just the two of them in the elevator. And so far no one else was entering the elevator. So they savored the extra few minutes they had together before becoming the boss and his subordinate again. 

"I saw the movie. But you can't really blame me for missing something when someone's tongue was distracting me." Harvey shot back, raising his eyebrow. Mike's cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink. It took all of Harvey's willpower not to pin him against the wall and kiss him. 

"Well…you can't really blame me. It's not my fault your ears are sensitive." 

"Sure it is; you used my weakness against me to get sex."

"I'm shocked, Harvey, you admitted to a weakness."

"Just don’t tell anyone else; It’s my kryptonite." Harvey said right when the elevator ding-ed. 

"There is no way you're Superman!" Mike shouted as the doors closed realizing belatedly he meant to get off on the same floor.

**> >>**

Mike groaned as he walked back to his desk. Quincy’s lawyers were still giving him a headache and on top of that Harvey kept asking where the briefs were. He didn't dare tell Harvey that he can't write a brief if there was nothing to write about. Even if it was the truth. Quincy and his lawyers gave him exactly that-- nothing. They kept calling his bluffs asking for the subpoenas and the warrants.

All Mike wanted to do was sit at his desk and finally eat the bagel he got for lunch, which was probably cold and dry by now. 

Mike groaned again seeing the small crowd of associates gathered around his desk. 

"Did Greg put porn on my desktop again?" Mike said huffing a frustrated sigh. This was the last thing he wanted to deal with after the last couple of hours he had. 

"Nah, man, but it seems like you got an admirer." 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mike asked walking closer to his desk. There in the middle of his desk was a vase of a dozen red roses. “Is this a joke?”

“No, there’s a note.” Harold said handing Mike a small envelope.

“Okay, thanks.” Mike plucked the note out of Harold’s hand. He stared at his name printed neatly on the envelope. “Uh. What are you guys waiting for?”

“Who is it from?” Harold quipped.

“It’s a thank you from a client.” Mike shrugged. Even though he didn’t think it was from Harvey--he wouldn’t be this blatant and obvious, would he?-- Mike couldn’t help the fluttering in his stomach. No one ever gave him flowers before. 

“There’s no way a client would get you flowers, red roses no less, unless you…” Greg said waggling his eyebrow. 

Harold and the other associates nodded in agreement.

Mike cleared his throat. “Anyway, get back to work.” Mike started to push his way through the crowd to his chair.

“For once Mike is right. If you guys have time to stand around gossiping like a couple of teenage girls at a sleepover, then clearly you need more work, and I’m not doing my job.” Louis said suddenly appearing next to Mike. “But really, Mike, who are the flowers from? Your rich lover?”

Mike sputtered, “what?”

“Come on, your cologne and aftershave smell out of your budget.” Louis replied. “Is it some cougar? You can tell me; I won’t judge.”

Mike discretely -- not really -- smelled his shirt. Sure, he tried Harvey’s cologne saying that he wanted to think of him throughout the day, but he didn’t think it was noticeable. That was what Mike liked about Harvey’s cologne; it was a subtle scent of spice and earth. It wasn’t obnoxious; just a gentle reminder of Harvey.

“No. It was a free sample.” Mike said slowly.

“Free sample, sure.” Louis said not believing a single word. 

“Harvey wants an update on Dunn and the Quincy problem so...I’m going to go check in with him.” Mike pointed behind him as he slowly walked away.

As Mike walked to Harvey’s office, he pulled out the envelope to read the inscription.

_To: Mike_  
 _When I saw these I thought about you._  
Love, _  
 _You know who_ _

Apparently, Harvey has no problem sending flowers to Mike’s desk. Mike couldn’t help the smile that started to form every time he thought about the flowers. Normally, he didn’t really have an opinion about giving flowers away, but it was sweet knowing that Harvey was thinking about him.

“Hey Harvey, I got your message.” Mike said.

“So the Quincy problem is gone?” Harvey asked looking up from his computer.

Mike frowned realizing that Harvey didn’t want to talk about the flowers at the office. Who could blame him, Mike thought. “What? No. The lawyers keep blocking me on everything. They want me to file subpoenas for everything.” Mike said sinking into the chair across from Harvey. “For _everything_.”

“Good. That means they’re hiding something.” Harvey said standing up. “You just need to keep pressing. Enough about your problems, let’s talk about more important things like my problems.”

**> >>**

“Harvey, I don’t know what to do about Quincy’s lawyers. Dunn is starting to think I’m not doing anything.” Mike said toeing off his shoes.

“Let’s not talk about work.” Harvey said pinning Mike’s wrist loosely above his head against the wall as he kissed Mike. Mike moaned giving Harvey’s tongue entrance. With his free hand, Harvey pulled Mike’s shirt up. Mike arched forward gasping when Harvey’s burning hands expertly found his nipples. Harvey released Mike’s wrists in favor of pulling him in closer.

“Harvey.” Mike groaned feeling how hard Harvey was. Harvey hummed as he continued to press kisses on Mike’s neck. “Thanks, but you know you’re not really being inconspicuous.”

“What?” Harvey asked pausing to look at Mike.

“The flowers. Did you really think no one was going to ask?”

Harvey leaned in kissing Mike on his already well kissed lips. “I didn’t send you flowers. I never thought were a flower person. Herbs sure.” Harvey said smiling. But the joke fell flat when the color drained from Mike’s face. “Mike?” Harvey asked rubbing small circles on Mike’s hips.

“It’s nothing.” Mike replied after a while. He gave a small smile. “It was probably for a different Mike.”

“Yeah.” Harvey said frowning. “Is everything okay?”

Mike nodded. “Come on, I’m tired of standing. Let’s go to bed.” Mike said pulling Harvey toward the bedroom.

Harvey sighed as he let himself be pulled toward the room and metaphorically away from the conversation.

**> >>**

As if sensing something was wrong, Harvey was slowly pulled out of his dreams. He opened his eyes to the quiet darkness. Mike was sitting on the edge of the bed not moving. Harvey watched the tension build in the slender muscles along Mike’s back. After a while, Mike leaned down and quietly put his boxers back on. Mike finally looked over his shoulder.

“Shit. You scared me.” Mike said softly realizing Harvey was watching him. “Did I wake you?”

“What’s wrong?” Harvey asked pushing himself up to recline against the headboard. In the darkness, he could barely make out Mike shaking his head.

“Nothing. I just couldn’t sleep.” Mike leaned over kissing Harvey gently. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” Harvey rested a hand on Mike’s hip. His thumb rubbing against the top of Mike’s boxers teasingly. “Are you saying that I’m not doing my job?” Harvey raised his eyebrow. “You should be exhausted after having sex with me.”

“You said it not me.” Mike smiled against Harvey’s lips. His tongue shooting out to trace Harvey’s lip. “You should go back to sleep.”

“I will, if you will.” Harvey replied. He held Mike close to him as he lowered himself back into a comfortable position. 

“Okay.” Mike whispered. The steady sound of Harvey’s heart was finally able to silence Mike’s overactive brain, grounding him in the present. His mind had been reeling trying to figure out who sent the flowers. Sure it could have been left on his desk by mistake. But what it wasn’t? Then who sent it?

**> >>**

Mike groaned when the morning light seemed to set his eyes on fire. He threw the blanket over his head trying to block out the sun. The edge of the bed sank as a heavy-weight leaned against him.

"Hey, sleepyhead, it's almost ten." Harvey said. 

"Then that means it's before ten, and I don't wake up before ten on Saturdays.” Mike grumbled still under the blanket.

Harvey chuckled. “I made coffee.”

A hand slowly crept out from under the blanket reaching for the cup that Mike knew Harvey was holding to lure him out.

“You’re not drinking it under the blanket.” Harvey held Mike’s hand gently as he kissed it.  
Mike groaned again as he moved the blanket. “By the way you’re heavy.”

“It’s because I’m taller than you.” Harvey replied kissing Mike. “I’m making pancakes. I’ll be in the kitchen.” He kissed him once more before softly setting the mug on the bedside table.

"Can I help?" Mike asked wrapping his arms around Harvey once he finally emerged from the room. 

"No." Harvey pointing to a chair with the spatula. "You can sit over there and don't even look at these."

"Why?" Mike pouted.

"If it's more than two ingredients -- and they're not milk and cereal -- you'll find a way to mess it up."

"That's not true. All the time.” Mike added. But he still sat on the stool.

"Last week Thursday? You mixed up tablespoon and teaspoon." Harvey turned back to the stove as he checked one their breakfast.

"That was an honest mistake. Everyone makes that mistake."

"Yeah when they're five and don't have an eidetic memory." Harvey placed the ready ones onto a plate. “Then there was the time you almost started a fire.”

“That was an honest mistake. A client called and I got distracted.” Mike stuck his tongue at Harvey. Something new on the dining table caught Mike’s eyes. A tall slender vase holding a single red rose that he knew wasn’t there the previous night. "You don’t need to be worried about last night.” Mike said softly. He paused unsure if Harvey heard him or if he was even going to say anything. “It’s not like I expect you to get me flowers. Because you’re right, you know, I’m not really a flower person. It just…”

“Made your heart flutter thinking I sent you flowers at the office.” Harvey asked finally facing Mike after he placed the last pancake on the plate. “We agreed to keep our relationship private. Flowers at the office is not that. Even if no one would know it was from me.”

“I know all that.” Mike said defeated. “It’s more like. I want to know who sent it.”

“Why?” Harvey asked frowning.

“It’s not like I’m going to fall in love with the person--”

“Who sent you flowers that made you feel something.” Harvey scoffed.

“It’s not like that. I’m just curious.” Mike stood up to walk around the counter and wrap his arms around Harvey’s neck. “I only felt something because I thought it was from you. And the only reason why I want to know who sent it is so that I can tell them that I have someone very special in my life.”

Harvey smiled planting a chaste kiss. “Eat your breakfast before it gets cold.”

“Aye, aye Captain.” Mike gave a fake salute before take a glorious bite of strawberry pancakes. Mike was almost able to forget the real reason why he wanted to know where the flowers came from, the real reason why he couldn’t sleep. Somehow he just knew that the roses were from Trevor. And that it meant he wasn’t done with Mike. 

This time Mike wasn’t sure if he’d be able to escape.


	5. Princeton Ave.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trevor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for all of the encouragement!  
> This chapter...was meant to be longer but it was going to be quite long...  
> Warning: (Not really a warning I mean if you got this far) There is a possible triggery scene. It's in italics. I purposely left it up for interpretation.  
> Until next time! Hope you enjoy.

And what is a man, who lays a hand on his lover, and calls it tough love, tough love  
What is a man, who can’t take a stand for his daughter, and calls it tough love, tough love  
Your roots grow in the cracks of the alleys, college park made you  
Man enough to see, man enough to see, there ain’t a goddamn man in me

"Princeton Ave." - Issues

**Chapter 5: Princeton Ave.**

It was one of those rare days now where Mike woke up confused, wondering where he was. He spent so much time either at the office or at Harvey’s condo that his apartment felt strange to him. It was too quiet; it didn’t smell right; the lighting was all wrong. He was starting to feel like a stranger in his own apartment.

May be it was Mike’s fault for thinking that everything was going to be okay. Because that Monday everything came crashing down. 

Monday started off like any other day, minus not being at Harvey’s place. Mike listened to music as he locked his bike up in front of the Pearson Specter Litt building. He mouthed the lyrics to a song as he waited for the elevator when someone lightly tapped him on the shoulder.

“Ah, sorry, was I singing out loud?” Mike asked removing the earbuds.

“No.” 

Mike’s heart pounded in his chest hearing the all too familiar voice.

“What are you doing here?” Mike sputtered out regaining his composure. Why were the elevators taking so long?

“I have a meeting.” Trevor said.

Mike nodded. 

“Going up?” Trevor asked gesturing toward the elevator when one finally arrived.

Mike shook his head. The thought of being stuck in a small room with him almost brought Mike to his knees. “I forget to lock my bike.”

Trevor sighed, “You mean the one I bought for you?” 

Mike couldn’t move. 

He couldn’t breathe.

He wanted to. 

He had to.

“I’ll see you later then.” Trevor said finally disappearing into the elevator.

Mike’s shoulders sagged with relief. Feeling his stomach rejecting breakfast, Mike rushed to the nearest bathroom throwing his tie over his shoulder, just in time. Once his stomach stopped trying to come out, Mike sank onto the floor. He leaned against the door taking a shuddering breath, trying to dispel the torment that threatened to break down the already thin emotional walls. 

_Mike sat at the table looking down at his hands, biting his lip until he tasted the familiar coppery taste. The hard angry look on Trevor’s face pushed Mike farther and farther down in his seat._

_“Someone stole your bike?” Trevor said finally._

_Mike nodded, tears starting to prickle his eyes. He had spent the entire day trying to find it just to avoid this conversation._

_“How?”_

_Mike opened his mouth, but no words came out._

_“I asked you a question.” Trevor said slowly and evenly. Mike shuddered knowing there was no way to avoid the oncoming storm._

_“I forgot to lock it.” Mike whispered._

_“What? Speak up.”_

_“I forgot to lock it.” Mike repeated just a little louder. “I looked for it all day!”_

_“Damn it, Mike! What? Now you want me to buy you another one? You’re such a fucking child. You don’t fucking deserve a new bike. You’re just going to fucking lose it anyway.” Trevor shouted exploding out of his chair. Mike stumbled falling hand on knees when Trevor yanked him out of the chair. “I’m going to teach you not to lose your shit.”_

_It took ten minutes for Trevor to decide Mike learned his lesson for the day._

_“Clean up the floor. You got your fucking tears and blood on the floor. You’re such a fucking pussy.” Trevor said leaving Mike curled up on the floor. “I guess since you can’t work. This place better be spotless everyday.”_

_Mike braced himself on the chair as he shakily tried to stand. He gently touched his cheek where a small welt started to form from when he hit the table. His ass and back were on fire and he was sure there were going to be bruises._

_For the next two weeks, Mike scrubbed the apartment down everyday. But Trevor always found something that he “missed.”_

_“Mike?” Trevor called out._

_Mike slowly came out of the bathroom with his head down. “Welcome home, Trevor.” Mike said kissing him on the cheek. “I missed you.”_

_Trevor hummed, encircling Mike with his arms. Mike winced when Trevor started rubbing his hand over all the welts and bruises on Mike’s back._

_“I have a surprise for you.” Trevor said softly kissing Mike. “You’ll love it.”_

_Mike smiled. He stopped liking Trevor’s idea of a surprise long ago. Trevor released Mike to bring around a new bike from the hallway. It wasn’t just a brand new bike, it was the bike that Mike had been eying for months knowing that he would never be able to afford it._

_“Do you like it?”_

_“Like it?” Mike asked blinking like it was a dream. “I love it. It’s...perfect.”_

_“Anything for you. Just don’t lose this one.” Trevor said kissing Mike again. “I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you lately. It’s just money is tight right now.”_

_“I know. I’m sorry. Thanks Trevor. I love you.” Mike said smiling. Maybe things will be different, Mike thought._

“Where were you?” Harvey asked.

Mike blinked unsure of how he managed to get to desk. He frowned noticing the vase of peonies on his desk. It had to be a deliberate choice; peonies were too obscure of a flower choice, especially this time of year. Grammy used to plant peonies. Mike felt light headed as his breathing slowed and his heart beat rocketed realizing what it meant. “What?”

“You look pale.” Harvey didn’t miss Mike’s confusion bordering on apprehension at the peonies. It was like he thought they were going to kill him.

“I’m fine.” Mike said clearing his throat. “I was here.”

“Not ten minutes ago. Your bike was out front, but you were not here.” Harvey countered.

“I meant I was in the library researching for court.”

“Shouldn’t your research be done already?”

“What do you want, Harvey?” Mike asked sighing.

“Jessica wants to see us in her office.” Harvey said finally. He bit back the comments he wanted to make deciding it wouldn’t be work appropriate. The other associates might think he cared about Mike.

“About what?” Mike asked. 

“No idea. You didn’t eat the chocolate in the fridge with her name on it again, right?” 

Harvey relaxed slightly when Mike rolled his eyes. He was returning to normal. 

“Contrary to what you may think, I don’t have a death wish.” Mike said standing to follow Harvey. “I learned my lesson the first time.”

“Sure. Come on, you’ve kept her waiting, which I think is a death wish.”

Walking into Jessica’s office will always be a little frightening, no matter how many times Mike had been in it. Actually, any room Jessica was in became frightening. But this time it wasn’t Jessica who made Mike freeze, it was the familiar back facing him. Because really he should have known. 

“You wanted to see us.” Harvey said knocking on Jessica’s door before stepping in. 

“Harvey, Mike, Mr. Evans stopped by.” Jessica said stood gesturing to the man across from her.

“Mike it’s good to see you again. It’s been a long time.” Trevor said stood, putting on the charms acting like they hadn’t seen each other in the lobby. He reached out, his arms wide, he wrapping them around Mike. Mike nodded, stiffly returning the hug. “Did he tell you? Mike and I used to date. I thought he was the one until he broke my heart and left.”

“You two dated?” Harvey asked raising his eyebrow. Interesting. This was the first time he was hearing this.

"Yeah until recently."

"Two years ago, actually. Can we just move on? What are you doing here?" Mike asked as calmly as he could even though he could barely hear anything over his pounding heart. Everything in his life was going well. He got the job he’s always wanted and the greatest boyfriend. His life was perfect. Why did Trevor have to return?

"Mike, actually, I invited him. As part of the arrangement he agreed to stay with the firm if you apologize to him." Jessica replied. Her eyebrow arching as a silent challenge to him.

Mike swallowed thickly trying to make sure his heart didn’t jump out of his chest. He wanted to shout and scream at Harvey and Jessica, but he couldn’t. "If I choose not to? Hypothetically speaking."

The muscles in Harvey’s jaw clenched. He was torn between being Mike’s boss and Mike’s lover. So he stayed silent watching the scene unfold unsure of whose side he should be on.

"Mike just apologize." Jessica said clicking her tongue. "I don't know what the problem is but it ends now. This isn’t some playground. You’re a grown adult, just apologize."

Mike sucked on his lip contemplating his options. Realistically he knew that he only had one option if he wanted to keep his job. Harvey might be okay with one less client, but Jessica wouldn’t. Looking over at Harvey, Mike knew that a thousand questions were going through his mind. Questions Mike wasn’t ready to answer.

Mike sighed, “Mr. Evans--”

“Trevor. It's Trevor.” Trevor said smiling.

“Trevor,” Mike clenched his teeth as he looked him in the eyes. Trevor smile fell to a familiar frown that barely concealed the anger brewing behind the eyes. Reflexively, Mike lowered his eyes. “I apologize for my behavior even though it weeks ago.” Mike flinched waiting for the punishment for the sarcasm. He closed his eyes breathing out remembering that he wasn’t in that apartment from years ago. He was in Jessica Pearson’s office with Harvey Specter. They would never let Trevor hit him. A cold shiver ran down his spine thinking about what would happen if they were not there. “It was unprofessional. I hope it doesn’t jeopardize any future dealings with Pearson Specter Litt.”

“Apology accepted.” Trevor said plastering a smile back on his face. “We should get together again some time soon.”

“Sure.” Mike said evenly still not meeting Trevor’s eyes. All he wanted to do was remove the feeling of Trevor off of him.

“By the way did you like the flowers? I know you don’t like the conventional flowers, but they only had roses last week. I know peonies are your favorite. They remind you of home.” Trevor said. 

Harvey could barely suppress the shock that shot through him. Mike told him that he wasn’t a flower person. Plus, Trevor said home as in they lived together before. Does Trevor still have feelings for Mike? Does Mike? Was that what Mike didn’t want to talk about?

Mike saw the confused look in Harvey’s eyes. He wanted to tell him that it wasn’t like that at all. But he couldn’t, not in the room. Later, when Harvey has his arms wrapped around Mike erasing all of Trevor’s touches, Mike will tell him Trevor means nothing to him. He’ll reassure Harvey that he was done with Trevor. But for now all Mike can do was pretend like he was not bothered by Trevor’s words. Because that’s not what Trevor wants. He wants to see Mike squirm.

“Thank you. It was very thoughtful.” Mike said blandly. Every muscle in him were taut ready to run. Because he was right. He knew Trevor sent the flowers. Trevor was taunting him. 

“Alright, now that that’s settled. Mr. Evans has something he wants to discuss with you Harvey.” Jessica gestured to the one available seat waiting for Harvey to sit. “Mike don’t let this happen again.”

Mike nodded sharply before turning away. Walk calmly away, Mike reminded himself like a mantra, don’t run. Running would only let Trevor know how much he got under Mike's skin. 

Harvey tried to meet Mike’s eyes to let him know silently that they needed to talk. But he kept replaying the conversations. After all these weeks, how could Mike withhold the fact that he dated Trevor. He lied about the flowers. He lied to Harvey. Repeatedly. What else was he lying about? What else was he not telling?


	6. Salvation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When silence is just as bad as lying. And Trevor returns because he's an asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter! 
> 
> Because I was rushing and doing this in between my paper, there might be more errors than usual and contingencies. When I initially started writing this chapter some of the things were meant to happen later but time wise it didn't make sense so I had to rearrange some things. And I had to remove a scene since I realized Harvey's reaction wouldn't have fit the story. But as a result I thought of a new story idea. So that may appear soon.
> 
> Thanks for all of your support and understanding!

All you really wanted to do  
Was lead me through  
All my loneliness and desperation  
Salvation, salvation

“Salvation” - LP

**Chapter 6: Salvation**

Loud voices drifted down the hall breaking Harvey’s concentration as he stared at the file in front of him. Usually, he’d have Mike read the case and report back to him. But, the scene in Jessica’s office kept replaying in his head. Harvey grunted trying to block the noise out. It wasn’t unusual to hear shouting. Usually it was a client yelling at the opposing counsel or Louis yelling at the associates. But there was something different about this time. Looking up, Harvey’s eyes met Donna’s who simply shrugged slowly getting up to head down the hall.  
The voices were just far enough away so that Harvey couldn’t make out the exact words. Sighing, Harvey pushed away from the desk. He rolled his shoulders feeling some of the tension leak away before following Donna.

Harvey stopped near the growing crowd that circled around Louis and Mike.

“You can’t just do that, Louis! You can’t just go around giving out other people’s number!” Mike shouted at Louis. His body shook as he tightly clenched his cellphone. Frantic blue eyes darted between Louis and the crowd before settling on Harvey.

Louis held his hands up as if he was slowly backing away from a raging bull. He glanced at Harvey looking for some sort of help.

“Mike,” Harvey said calmly, pushing his way through the crowd, “go sit in my office.”  
Mike looked like he had more to say before he brushed past Louis heading toward Harvey’s office.

“You boytoy has gone crazy.” Louis straightened his tie trying to regain some dignity.

“What happened?” Harvey sighed.

When Harvey returned shortly after, Mike was pacing the office. The first thing Harvey noticed was the different suit Mike was wearing. Harvey watched Mike slowly tire himself out until finally he sank onto the couch. He kept muttering to himself staring at the phone in his hands that kept lighting up. 

“You changed your suit.”

Mike jumped up from the couch either from surprise or anger, Harvey wasn’t entirely sure. Mike looked down at his slightly rumpled suit. After the meeting with Trevor, he could feel him on his clothing, on his skin, in the air he breathed.“I spilled coffee.”

Harvey raised his eyebrow at the blatant lie. “Do you want to explain what happened?”

“I’m not apologizing. He needs to know you can’t just give out other people’s number!” Mike said, defeated, he collapsed back into one of the armchairs. 

“That wasn’t my question.” Harvey slowly sank in the chair across. He resisted the urge to touch Mike. Just a comforting touch to let Mike know he was there. But Harvey feared a single gentle touch would shatter any strength Mike had left.

Mike wasn’t sitting across from him. In his place was a man’s sanity carefully balanced on the edge of a precipice. One slip, would send Mike down a dark spiral, Harvey wasn’t sure he could pull himself out of. For once, Harvey was at a loss at what to do.

Harvey reached over gently plucking the phone out of Mike’s hand. He didn’t miss the number of messages that Trevor left before he shut it off. 

Mike stared at the other man for a long time before answering. “He gave my number to Trevor.”

“And the reason you went crazy on Louis was because?”

Mike stayed silent.

“Does it have to do with what you won’t talk about?”

Mike slowly nodded.

“Okay, if you won’t even tell me, how was Louis supposed to know?” Harvey asked not expecting a reply. “He said he saw Trevor in the lobby. Trevor asked him for your number. Louis, believe it or not, was actually reluctant to give it to him. But then Trevor said that his phone fell into the toilet and he lost everyone’s number. So he didn’t know how to get in touch with you. He was supposed to meet you for something later on.”

“Trevor’s a liar.” Mike muttered picking at his tie taking off imaginary lint the fire behind his eyes quickly dying.

“Okay, except how was Louis supposed to know?”

“I get it, Harvey, I do. I’ll apologize to Louis.” Mike sighed finally calming down.

“And change your number.”

Mike nodded. 

“So what happened in Jessica’s office? Why didn’t you want to apologize?” Harvey asked, finally, breaking the silence.

 

“I just didn’t see the point in apologizing for something that happened a while ago? I mean why’d he wait this long? Anyways, I apologized. It’s done.” Mike shrugged apathetically. 

Harvey gently placed his hand near Mike’s knee making it look like it was normal. But it was enough contact to ground Mike to the present. “Why didn’t you tell me you and Trevor went out?”

“Are you asking as my boss or my boyfriend?”

 

“Mike. Does it matter?”

“Yeah, actually it kind of does. Because in that room you weren’t anything. You just sat there and silently sided with Jessica. You didn’t say anything even though you knew I didn’t want to apologize to him.”

Harvey pulled Mike toward him, resting his forehead against Mike’s. “What did he do to you?” Harvey asked quietly.

Mike bit his lip before gently pushing Harvey away. Slowly, he stood smoothing his pants. “He broke me. And you just let him do it again.” Mike said before walking out.

Harvey stood looking out the window.

“So what was that all about?” Donna asked shortly after Mike left.

 

“I don’t know. But I don’t know how to tell him that Trevor requested that Mike and I represent him. Jessica wouldn’t take a no without actually knowing what was wrong.” Harvey carefully watched Mike walk back to the bullpen. “Trevor’s not go anywhere near Mike again. I’m going to make sure of it.”

**> >>**

The next day, Mike smiled to himself watching Harvey focus so intensely on the file in his hands. He knew from experience when Harvey was this focused it took several attempts, and some pointed suggestions, to break Harvey’s concentration. Making sure no one was paying attention, Mike quietly walked up behind Harvey. “I’m thinking dinner, maybe a movie,” Mike whispered warmly against Harvey’s ear, “then sex.”

Harvey blinked slowly as he realized what was just offered. He groaned tossing the folder face down onto the coffee table. “Love to, but I can’t. Not tonight.” Harvey replied. He stood wincing when he felt how stiff his shoulders were. How long was he sitting there?

“How come?” Mike pouted.

“I have to meet a client tonight.”

“Oh.” Mike’s shoulders sagged a little. “I can come.”

“Maybe some other time, Rookie.”

Any other time the nickname would have sent a warm feeling down low in Mike’s stomach. But today, strangely, it didn’t. 

“Tomorrow?”

Harvey shook his head. “I’m busy this week. I’ll call you. For now, it’s actually better if you stay in the bullpen. I’ll get you when I need you.”

“What?” Mike asked taken aback from the blatant brush off.

Harvey opened his mouth to reply when Donna poked her head into the office. “Harvey they’re ready for you.”

“Thanks, Donna.” Harvey replied. “Mike, just ask Louis for a case or something. Do pro bono. You love pro bono.”

“Whatever. Call me when you have the time. Maybe I’ll answer if I have time.” Mike rolled his eyes before walking out of the room.

“Harv, I’m not saying put him on the case, but are you sure about keeping him in the dark?” Donna asked Mike storm around the corner and out of sight.

“No.” Harvey sighed after contemplating his answer. “But this time it’s better if he’s ignorant and in the dark than scared of the shadows.” Harvey said before leaving his office for the conference room. “Make sure he stays away from the room. If he comes back, tell him if he’s not working on pro bono I’m going to leave him to Louis for a month.”

“Sure...”

**> >>**

Everything from the past few hours kept replaying in Mike’s mind. He tried forgetting through mindless tv. Harvey made it particularly clear that he didn’t want Mike smoking marijuana anymore.

In particular, he couldn’t forget Harvey’s disregard for the situation in Jessica’s office. But to top it all off Mike kept thinking may be he disappointed Harvey somehow. That’s the only thing that could explain why he was banished, literally banished, from Harvey’s office. When he tried to see Harvey for advice on the case Louis gave him, Donna threatened him.   
Sighing, Mike picked up his phone.

**To: Harvey  
Sent: Mon. 8:54PM  
Hey. It’s Mike. I changed my number.**

**From: Harvey  
Rec: Mon. 8:55PM  
Good.**

Mike sighed again, roughly he ran his hand through his hair. He was expecting something of substance. Anything. Mainly an apology. He waited a few more minutes hoping for something else to come through.

**To: Harvey  
Sent: Mon. 9:00PM  
Are we still going out tomorrow?**

**From: Harvey  
Rec: Mon. 9:05PM  
Sure.**

He wanted to reach through the phone and strangle the other man. Clenching his phone tightly, Mike breathed trying to calm himself.

**To: Harvey  
Sent: Mon. 9:11PM  
Great.**

And that was it. There was no “good night.” Nothing. A big fat nothing. Mike let out a frustrated sigh before tossing his phone onto the table and promptly putting thoughts of Harvey out of his mind.

Tuesday came, and Mike still hadn’t seen or spoken to Harvey. But Harvey had agreed to the date already. At the end of the day, Mike chewed on his lip contemplating whether or not to risk Harvey’s anger and seek him out. For the first time since they started dating, Mike’s heart pounded in his chest with thoughts of seeing Harvey finally. Slowly he rounded the corner to Harvey’s office, but stopped abruptly in front of the dark office.

“He left an hour ago.” Donna said quietly as she picked up her purse. “Said he had a dinner to get to.”

Mike nodded. “Oh okay.”

“Mike he’s not doing this to hurt you. Just...he’s trying to protect you. This is the only way he knows how.”

“I don’t need protecting.”

Donna smiled slightly like she knew he wasn’t being honest to her, except it was worse. She knew he wasn’t being honest to himself. 

She hugged him tightly before telling him good night.

As Mike walked to the elevator he sent Harvey a quick text.

**To: Harvey  
Sent: Tue. 6:34PM  
I guess I’ll meet you there. Dinner is at 7:30.**

Harvey didn’t respond.

Mike was well into his fifth beer -- or was he on the whiskey? Both? -- when there was a steady rapping on his door. Groaning, he rolled onto his feet jostling the empty bottles -- two bottles, so two beer and three glasses of whiskey. Mystery solved.

“Harvey, what are you doing here? You better have a damn good reason for flaking out on dinner.” Mike asked throwing open the door without looking through the peephole. He should have. He should have known. But funny thing anger and alcohol does to logic.

“Harvey? Were you supposed to have date night with him?” Trevor smirked. “But I called it. I knew you had to have been fucking someone for you to get your job. But Harvey? Never pegged him as gay.”

“What are you doing here Trevor?” Mike asked breathing heavily. He was quickly sobering up with every passing second. He tried to calm his heart that was threatening to burst through his chest.

“I needed to give you some thing. It’s for my merger.” Trevor held a folder nonchalantly in his hands as if giving someone a folder at eleven at night was normal.

“If it’s for work then please drop it off at the office tomorrow morning. We open at ten.”

“Apparently you’re open whenever Harvey calls.” Trevor smirked. “I figured since you’re my lawyer that this was okay.”

 

“Who would think a late night call is okay?” Mike asked slowly closing the door.

“Your boss. Sorry your boyfriend?” Mike jumped, breathing shakily, when Trevor slammed his hand on the door, keeping it open. “Take the folder it has my company’s finances. Harvey said he needed them.”

“Harvey isn’t your lawyer, and neither am I.” Mike bit his lip trying to resist the urge to run.

“Really? Is that what he said? Because I requested that you two represent me for this case. I can go to Jessica about this.” Trevor said. 

Mike glared at Trevor. “You’re lying. He would have told me.”

“Call him. He’ll tell you he’s busy that’s why he missed dinner. Oh by the way, my future business partner’s lawyer is Dana Scott. You probably know her right? They told me they went way back.” The permanent smirk widened on Trevor’s face challenging Mike. “When I left, he was still with Scottie.”

“Would you please just leave? Leave me alone.” Mike begged closing his eyes not wanting to think that Harvey stood him up for Scottie. “I’m calling the police.”

“I just wanted to drop this off. And let you know once a whore always a whore.” Trevor said pressing the folder roughly onto Mike chest forcing him to stagger back.

Once Trevor stepped away from the door smirking, Mike quickly locked and chained the door. Stumbling, Mike collapsed onto his bed. Not wanting to believe a single word from Trevor, but needing to hear Harvey’s voice, Mike pulled out his phone numbly he pressed Harvey’s speed dial number. After a couple of rings Harvey answered.

“Hello?” Harvey asked, his voice husky. Mike couldn’t tell from what. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know why. “Mike?”

“Where were you tonight?” Mike asked pulling at his shirt. He hate feeling this insecure. He hated the feelings that kept him second guessing everything. He hated the way Trevor always found a way into his head.

“I was busy. Mike, I’m tired. Can we talk tomorrow?” Harvey sighed.

“Busy...doing what?”

 

Harvey sighed again. “Working on a case.”

“The case you won’t talk to me about?”

“Not all my cases involve you.”

Mike bit his tongue. “But tonight, we were supposed to...” A noise from the kitchen caused him to stopped mid-sentence. He inhaled sharply forcing images of Trevor lurking in the shadows out of his mind. Suddenly feeling exposed in the middle of his room, quickly jumped off the bed and hid himself in the dark recess of his closet.

“Mike.” Harvey said softly. “What’s wrong?”

“Can I come over? I just…” Mike asked frantically he looked around his room every shadow taking the shape of a monster. Realization dawned on Mike, Trevor knew where he lived. He knew. Mike curled into himself tighter just like before. 

“Tonight’s not good." 

"You promised me tonight." Mike whined on the verge of tears.

"Another night okay? I’m not at home yet." Harvey said sighed. In the background there was a muffled voice, which Mike thought sounded like a woman. 

“Are you with someone?”

“No.” Harvey said sharply. “Get some sleep; I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Mike sniffled. “Sure.” Mike replied before hanging up.

It was an hour before Mike crawled out of the closet. He peeled off his shirt needing to get rid of the feel of Trevor. But when he picked up a fresh shirt it still didn’t feel clean. Nothing in the entire apartment felt clean. Everything had Trevor’s taint on it. Mike scratched his arms, grimacing, knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep there.

**> >>**

“Mike?” A gentle voice woke Mike up.

He rubbed his tired eyes. Slowly, he sat up on the couch taking in the morning light filtering into Harvey’s office.

“Did you sleep here?” Donna asked. 

“I must have fallen asleep while working on a case.” Mike replied gesturing to his case. It was true, after realizing he wasn’t going to be able to sleep at his apartment he went to the office, he sought the only safe place he knew: Harvey’s office.

“Sure, kid.” Donna said patting his knee.

“Please don’t tell Harvey.” Mike said gathering his files. “I...I know he doesn’t want to see me right now.”

“It’s not that he doesn’t. Mike, never think that. He’s just...busy. Once the case he’s on is over everything will go back to normal.” 

“Normal…” Mike said softly. “I’m not sure if that’s possible. I’ll see you later.” 

 

Something was wrong with Mike. Harvey knew the minute he hung up with him. But he was stuck. How could he explain meeting with Scottie without talking about Trevor without terror seizing Mike every time the name was mentioned? So everyday and every night for the past week he worked on the damned case just to resolve it as quickly as possible. Not that it meant anything. He was still no where near finalizing the merger. Trevor still hadn’t relinquished his financial records.

But Harvey kept moving forward with the merger. He kept putting all of the necessary pieces in place for when it could be done with.

“We need to talk about Mike.” Donna said closing the glass door.

“What about him?” Harvey said leaning back in his chair as Donna settled across from him.

“He’d been sleeping here for the past few nights.”

Harvey frowned deeply. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

 

“Partially because he didn’t want me to. But also because you’ve been busy.”

Harvey stood staring out of his window. “He called the other day close to having a panic attack. He kept begging me to let him stay at my place. But I was with Scottie. Damn it.”

“Do you think he suspects anything?”

“I don’t know.” Harvey sighed. “Can you call him up here?”

Donna nodded solemnly. 

“Hey.” Harvey said once Mike walked into the office.

“I thought I wasn’t allowed here.” Mike scoffed, sinking into the chair at Harvey’s desk.

“You’ve been sleeping here.” Harvey said noticing the dark shadows under Mike’s eyes, darkening his blue eyes. His skin taking on an unnatural ashen tone.

“That’s a lie.” Mike mumbled.

“Mike, I’m sorry I haven’t been here much. So come over tonight. After my week I want you close.” Harvey wasn’t lying. Spending endless hours with Trevor trying to convince the man to compromise was draining. On top of all of that, Trevor constantly asked for Mike. Harvey had to remind himself that this was in the best interest of Mike. He needed to feel Mike’s soft skin and the smile during the lazy morning kisses.   
“Sorry, I’m too busy.” Mike bit down. 

“It’s a pro bono case. It can wait.” Harvey walked onto the other side of the desk. Sitting on the edge of the desk, he loosely held the back of Mike’s neck massaging small circles, easing some of the tension.

“Your cases are too important for me. Mine are more important than you as well.” Mike swatted Harvey’s hand pretending that he needed to scratch his back.

“Mike.” Harvey leaned against the desk, spinning Mike to face him. He gently tilted Mike’s chin up to finally see the blue eyes he missed. “I’m trying to apologize for earlier. Okay? What happened the other night when you called?”

Mike swallowed thickly. "Where were you that night?" 

"Why are you asking? I was with a client; I told you that already."

“That’s the problem. We made reservations to that new restaurant. I waited an hour.”

“Shit. I’m sorry. I meant to tell you that I couldn’t make it.” Harvey said rubbing his jaw. He had been stuck talking to Trevor and Scottie for the better part of three hours. 

"Do you stay at the hotel with all your clients?"

"What are you implying?"

"I'm your boyfriend." Mike said loudly getting Donna to turn. 

Harvey's eyes widened at Mike’s sudden outburst.

"Sorry I forgot I'm just the whore that you don't want people to know about." Mike mumbled tearing his gaze away from Harvey.

Silence fell that felt like static electricity sparked Mike’s skin. As soon as the words escaped his mouth he wanted to take them back.

"I would never call you a whore. I’m going to walk out when I come back either you’re gone or you’re ready to talk like to me like a goddamn adult." Harvey said finally pointing to the door. He stood and calmly walking away from Mike even though waves of anger rolled off of him. He was going to give Mike the chance to make the decision himself.

When Harvey returned Mike was gone.

**> >>**

“Truce?” Mike said holding a bag of Chinese food up when Harvey answered the door later that night.

Harvey didn’t say a word as he held the door open wider to let Mike through. Even without Donna’s looks telling him how he messed up, Harvey knew he did. 

“Did you eat? You probably ate. I mean it’s almost 10. I thought about getting dessert but you’re not really a sweets person.” Mike laughed uncomfortably rubbing his neck.

“I didn’t eat much.” Harvey said unpacking the Chinese containers. “Wasn’t hungry. You?”

 

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“How come on?” Harvey pulled out two plates. He began scooping food onto each plate, putting a little more onto Mike’s.

Mike shrugged.

“What’s been bothering you? I know it’s more than Louis and me. Where did the whore comment and the infidelity accusation come from?” Harvey asked. He picked up his fork intending on eating but finding his appetite still missing.

“It’s nothing.” Mike mumbled. “Just insecurity. It’s my issue.”

“Why do you insist on doing this?” Harvey said gritting his teeth. He gripped the edge of the counter tightly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Pushing me away. Every time I think…” Harvey licked his lips trying to figure out what he wanted to say. “You don’t talk to me anymore.”

“I talk.”

“You say words, and I’ve let you. You’ll answer a question without actually answering it. You say what you think I want to hear. Anything to get me to stop asking. If I didn’t know any better I would think you’re a real lawyer.” 

“Are you saying that’s what you do, Harvard?” Mike asked crossing his arms.

“No, I’m saying that I’ve let you do the shit that I normally do for people who aren’t you.”  
Mike scoffed. “Are you saying that you’ve been doing me some great service?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. You’re looking to start a fight.” Harvey said moving his food around on the plate. “I just want to know what’s going on. You lied to me. You didn’t tell me that you and Trevor dated. Did you know that he was the one who sent you the flowers?” 

“Are you jealous? Do you think I’m still in love with him? Thanks, Harvey, great to know that you trust me.” Mike said shaking his head. “Nothing is wrong.”

“Hey. So only you get to be jealous?” Harvey grabbed Mike’s shoulder turning him pinning him to the counter. He gently cupped Mike’s cheek rubbing circles. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. You’re not telling me something. I want to help you. But I can only help you if you talk to me.”

Mike sucked on his lip. He took a deep breath before pushing Harvey away. “There’s nothing to talk about. If you want to talk we can talk about your meeting with Scottie.”

“That has nothing to do with this.” Harvey asked taking a step away from Mike leaving him suddenly feeling cold.

“So it’s true? On our date night, you were with Scottie?” 

“It’s not what it seems. I promise I’ll tell you about it later. Trust me, Mike.”

Mike dodged Harvey outstretched hand. Picking up his jacket, Mike walked toward the door.

“Mike. Where are you going?” Harvey called out. “Let’s just eat and get some sleep.”

“No. I’m not going to sit there and eat with someone who doesn’t believe me, but expects me to trust them.” Mike paused before continuing with his hand on the doorknob. “Oh and before I forget, Trevor gave me the financial records, the night he told me about Scottie.” Mike paused handing Harvey the folder that he was carrying. “Why’d you take me off of the case?”

 

Fucking Trevor. Harvey stoically chewed his tongue trying to figure out what to say. Realistically he knows that he should have been thinking about this before. He should have thought of what to say before this moment. 

“Trevor shouldn’t have given it to you. He should have given it to me.”

“God! How many secrets are you going to keep?! When were you going to tell me?”

 

“I wasn’t.” Harvey shrugged. “It’s not like you don’t have secrets, so get off your high horse.”

 

“Trevor requested both of us.” Mike said finally. “Didn’t he?”

 

“Trevor…”

 

“The client. Whatever the client wants, right?”

“Sometimes the client doesn’t know what they want. And this case didn’t require the both of us.” Harvey said folding his arms. He clenched his jaw not wanting to continue this conversation. There was a reason why he didn’t tell Mike.

“But it wasn’t for you to decide. Why didn’t you tell me? Do you know how that makes me look? Now everyone is going to think that you think I’m incapable of doing my job.”

“What?! No one else knows about this case. No one knows that Trevor asked for both of us. When you can’t even be in the same room as him without shaking or hitting him, and you won’t even tell me why, then as your boss I am going to say no.”

 

“I’ll take this to Jessica.” Mike said clenching his fist tightly.

“Mike, if you want to be on this case so badly then I need you to tell me what happened between the two of you.”

“Harvey, just drop it. I don’t want to talk about. What ever happened in the past is over. There’s no reason to bring it up.”

“You think I don’t see it? I see the way you shake when you’re in the same room as him. You can barely look him in the eyes. If I put you on this case, you’re going to be working with him. And I can’t have you working with someone you’re afraid of. I am telling you as your boss, you can’t be on the case. And as your boyfriend, I can’t standby and watch as he tortures you any more.”

 

"See that's my problem! You act like everything is okay like it's okay that you had some sort of epiphany about my life without me. But it's not Harvey. You don't get to decide my life.” Mike said holding his head high. “I don’t need you to fight my battles. Trevor is my battle. If you don’t let me onto the case then I’m going to Jessica.”

“Fine. Be on the case. But don’t come to me crying and asking to get taken off.” Harvey said right before Mike slammed the door.

Harvey stared at his phone the following Monday. Mike never called or texted. Granted he didn’t either. Everything had been going great until Trevor showed up. Their conversations from the past week flooded his mind testing his resolve to protect Mike at all costs. It was clear neither man was willing to apologize first. Harvey twisted his tie on, sighing, he walked down to meet Ray.

By sheer coincidence or cosmic fate Mike and Harvey found themselves in the elevator alone that morning.

Harvey didn’t take his eyes off of the metal doors choosing to ignore Mike. 

He raised his eyebrow when he felt Mike’s fingers ever so lightly touch his fingers. “I thought we were supposed to keep this professional.”

“Don’t...please.” Mike replied softly. “I’m sorry about last night.”

“Not good enough.”

“What do you want from me? I apologized.” Mike turned to Harvey, chewing on his lip.

“You apologized because you don’t want me mad at you. The only reason I didn’t tell you about the case is because I couldn’t stand watching you break every time.” Harvey said completely facing Mike. “But what I want…” Harvey clenched his hands keeping them from reaching out just to feel Mike. “What I want is for you to cut the crap and tell me what the hell is up with you. I can’t help you if I don’t know what the fuck is going on. Before you say anything,” Harvey continued cutting Mike off, “Withholding, especially without the intent of ever telling me, is the same thing as lying. The effects are still the same: I’m in the dark, and that doesn’t help either of us. Otherwise we end this because I’ve had enough with the lies. ”

Mike watched the as the floor numbers blinked as they silently continued their ascent. Mike nodded after a long pause. “You’re right. You deserve to know especially if I’m going to be on the case. How about I come over tonight and tell you?”

“Fine. I’ll pick something up.” Harvey sighed quietly, honestly relieved.

“No actually. I’ll bring something. 7?”

“Sure.” Harvey agreed defeatedly watching Mike step off onto his floor. He couldn’t help the apprehension that settled in his mind wondering if he really wanted to know.


	7. Unfold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No more secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here it is the chapter that people have been waiting for since chapter 1. The secret comes out. Naturally, there will be some triggery moments. But this chapter doesn't go into the graphic details like some other chapters did. 
> 
> Also, not going to lie there were some moments that made me cry. So, this is going to be a long emotional rollercoaster ride. 
> 
> Hopefully, this answers some, not all, of your questions in regards to why Mike never told Harvey and why Harvey never asked.

You see I am the bravest girl  
You will ever come to meet  
Yet I shrink down to nothing  
At the thought of someone  
Really seeing me  
I think my heart is wrapped around  
And tangled up in winding weeds  
But I don't wanna go on living  
Being so afraid of showing  
Someone else my imperfections  
And even though my feet  
Are trembling  
And every word I say  
Comes stumbling  
I will bare it all... Watch me unfold  


“Unfold” - Marie Digby

**Chapter 7: Unfold**

Harvey wasn’t going to check on Mike. He was going to give Mike the space that he needed. But he couldn’t help himself; he couldn’t help wondering if Mike was okay. Harvey was careful not to make it obvious. Even more careful to make sure that he wasn’t imposing on the fragile understanding that they created. It wasn’t normal. None of this was normal. Neither of them should be dancing around each other afraid of the consequences.

Harvey wished, oh god did he wish, that Trevor never happened; that they could just go back to a few weeks ago. 

By the time 4:30 came, Harvey was innocently walking past Mike’s desk. Mike was gone already. Normally, Harvey would have been a little more than irritated that Mike left early. But there was something different about this time.

At 6:00, Harvey told Donna goodnight with the promise that he was going to fix everything with Mike. He told Ray goodnight at 6:20, and by 6:45 Harvey had showered and changed into an old Harvard tshirt and jeans. 

Harvey waited. His mind buzzing too much to pay attention to any briefs or even to the TV. He couldn’t take the edge off with a drink, but knowing he needed a clear mind for what they were going to talk about.

And right at 7, which was unusual by itself -- Mike was never on time, even when there was the promise of sex -- Mike knocked on Harvey’s door.

“Hey.” Harvey held the door open to Mike waiting with a pan. Harvey didn’t comment on the punctuality or even the pan. The color of Mike’s cheeks paled with every step Mike took into the condo. This was Mike’s turn to talk.

Mike walked into the kitchen pulling out a plate and utensils before uncovering the pan. Any other time, Harvey would be fighting back a smile at how good Mike look walking around like he lived there. Like it was his home. 

“Here, can you set the table?” Harvey silently grabbed the utensils not commenting on Mike’s trembling fingers. Without speaking, together he set the table as Mike plated some pasta.

“You’re not eating.” Harvey asked sitting at the table.

Sitting next to Harvey, Mike shook his head. “Not hungry.”

“I didn’t know you can cook. I remember you telling me that you only know how to make spaghetti, and this doesn’t look like spaghetti.”

“I can cook.” Mike said drawing his legs up to his chest. “I just don’t like cooking for other people. It brings…never mind, I’ll tell you later.”

Harvey sighed, picking up his forkful. “This is good. Really good. Michelin good. Mike, you should be cooking for everyone. You should have your own restaurant.”

Mike smiled at the compliment. “I’m glad.” Mike crossed his arms on his legs resting his head on them as he watched Harvey smiling contentedly as he ate the pasta. “No one’s ever told me that before.”

“This is amazing.” Harvey said continuing to eat for a moment forgetting why they were there in the first place. “Why don’t you cook for other people?”

Mike bit his thumb nail as he stared at the floor. “It reminded me of things that I rather forget, if I could.” He tapped his temple.

Harvey put his fork down with a soft clink. He reached for Mike, but retracted it seeing him flinch. “It’s me, Mike, you don’t have to be scared of me.”

“It’s because it’s you that I am scared.” Mike said barely audible. He played with the napkin in his hand. “What I’m going to tell you, I don’t want you to judge me. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. Every time I thought about telling someone I just froze. I tried once, but I couldn’t. I thought if I never spoke about it…then it didn’t happen, you know? I thought I’d be able to forget. But I can’t...and now he won’t let me forget. You’re the first person I ever told.” 

“I wouldn’t--” Harvey started before Mike cut him off.

Mike tried to give a comforting smile. “Harvey what I need you to do is not interrupt me, okay? I need to say everything first. I also don't want your pity or to fight my battles for me. There are people who had it worse than me.” 

Harvey nodded. 

Taking a deep breath, Mike licked his lip, and began his story. “When I was 10 I had this babysitter. She was great. She’d let me watch whatever movie I wanted to and she’d quiz me on the next lines. And...she was amazing. Then one day, my mom told me that she wasn’t going to come over anymore. I figured that she went to college or something. But then my parents started telling me how to treat a girl. This was before I realized I’m bisexual. Anyway, they told me the usual things like be nice and be a gentleman. You never hit them. Then when I was in high school, I had to take this life management or something course. That’s when I found out that my babysitter’s boyfriend killed her. It was ruled accidental, but there were supposedly all these signs. So my teacher told us all the warning signs of…” Mike bit his lip looking at Harvey. Harvey nodded understandingly. Mike took a deep breath, releasing it slowly before continuing, “My teacher told us about abuse. He told us what to do if that happens. So, I knew what the warning signs were. But he always talked about it like girls were the only ones who got abused. A bunch of guys in the class said a guy who beats a girl is pathetic because girls are naturally weaker. But what does that say about a guy who just takes it? You know what they said? They said that a man who takes it is even more pathetic and doesn’t deserve to have balls; he should turn it in for a pussy. The whole class laughed. My teacher threw in some statistics about how men can be abused too, I guess to show that they can be abused too. It didn’t work. 

“I never thought I was going to be a statistic. Never wanted to; I guess no one really wants to. But when you’re in that moment, when it happens…” Mike continued as tears started to swell his eyes. Licking his chapped lips he let out a shuddering breath, he continued, “you believe everything the other person says. He’s sorry that it won’t happen again. He’s just having a bad day. And you think everyone has one of those days and you let it go. Then it happens again and again and again. And every time you you tell yourself that it won’t happen again because he loves you. And every time you say this is the last time. Until finally you start telling yourself that you deserve it and then you start accepting it. Because if you didn’t do anything wrong then he wouldn’t hit you.”

Taking a shaky breath, Mike closed his eyes. “Trevor…” Keeping to his promise, Harvey didn’t say anything even though every cell in his body was screaming at him. “he abused me.” Mike said finally. Harvey reached for the trembling man in front of him. Mike shot out of his chair pacing the kitchen, shaking his hand he tried to relieve the tension in them. “For the longest time I was ashamed because I was told that men are supposed to be strong. It's girls who are the ones who get abused. Males don’t get abused certainly no physically. But here I was taking everything that he did. I just…I let him. I never fought back; I never left him. I felt pathetic. What kind of man was I? I thought I got out. I thought what happened was in my past, that he was in my past. I thought I had escaped him. But now he’s here reminding me everytime that I’m still pathetic and weak. Harvey, every time I see him it feels like I’m back in that apartment. What kind of man am I if I can’t even...he still has this control over me.”

“You don’t need to continue if you don’t want to.” Harvey said. His body ached with the urge to protect Mike, to take away all of his pain and to make Trevor suffer.

Mike nodded, chewing on his lip.

“But I’d like to hear your story. I don’t want you to ever think that you’re burdening me with it.”

“I just don’t want you to think of me any differently.” 

Unable to handle it anymore, Harvey pulled Mike close to him. He cupped Mike’s crying face, wiping a tear track away, “What I think of you will never change. Because you are still a strong person.” He said kissing Mike. “A strong, smart, and beautiful man, because that’s the kind of man you are.”

Mike hiccuped wiping the tears aways as he braced himself against Harvey’s shoulders. “I told you not to interrupt me.”

“I couldn’t let you continue to undermine yourself without reminding you that no matter what, back then and now, you are strong. And that you are loved. Mike, I love you.” Harvey said tears prickling his eyes. “You don’t ever have to ashamed of what happened. I would never judge you. I would never think less of you. What happened is a part of who you are now. Whether or not you like it, it shaped you into the person you are today. And I want to know all of you. Every scar he left so that I can tell you how it has made you more beautiful and stronger. It made me love you more every day.” Harvey said. He gently wiped the tears away from Mike’s cheek.

“He was careful; he didn’t leave scars.” Mike whispered.

“Scars aren’t always physical. The hidden ones are just as important, if not more. Time might heal the visible ones. But I know you can never forget what happened. You remember every time he hit you, every word he said that was meant to cut you down. You can’t escape the past. Because of that you kept a large part of yourself hidden. Trying to bury all of those memories. But I want to know them so that I take some of that burden off of your shoulders. I want to help you carry your fears. So that you know you’re not alone that I’m here with you. Every step of the way, I’ll stand by you. So that every insecurity he forced upon you, you know that you are perfect.”

“I’m not perfect.”

“I know that. That’s when I’ll call you an idiot.”

Mike laughed hiccuping.

“But you are perfect to me. Every flaw or quirk that you have is perfect because you wouldn’t be who you are without them. I can’t love you without them.”

Mike gave Harvey a weak smile kissing him after every thank you. Mike said, biting back a sob, “I probably look like a huge mess. God, I didn’t know you could be that sentimental and touching.”

“I think you know how “touching” I can be.” Harvey smirked rubbing his thumb just above the hem of Mike’s jeans.

Mike leaned into the crook of Harvey’s neck huffing a laugh. “I love you.”

Harvey nodded. “I know.”

“I want to tell you.” Mike said looking into Harvey’s eyes. “I think you deserve to know.”

Harvey nodded, “as you wish.” 

Mike pushed away from where he stood between Harvey’s legs. “You’re so cheesy.” 

After Mike cleared the table and grabbed a glass of water, they moved to the black leather couch in the living room. Mike leaned against Harvey’s chest feeling the steady breathing. It was like every beat of Harvey’s heart gave Mike a stronger resolve to continue the story. Harvey held Mike’s hand like he was giving him courage.

“We met in college; he was my roommate. He was great. Smart, not as smart as you obviously, but we could debate about everything. I thought it was just in good fun. When things started to get heavy, we’d apologize and laugh it off. It didn’t take long before we started dating. The abuse didn’t happen right away. It was gradual. So gradual that I convinced myself that it was normal. I never had a relationship before so I just thought that that’s how relationships work. What’s stupid was that I knew the signs. But when it was happening I thought I was in love. So, that by the time I realized something was wrong I was too afraid to leave because he had convinced me that no other person could love me like he did.”

Harvey kissed the top of Mike’s head. “In a way he’s right. I can’t love you like that. I don’t ever want to.”

Mike smiled as he played with the bottom of his shirt. “It started with the little things, every time I went out he was asking me where I was and who I was with. And soon he was asking to come with me saying he didn’t want to be apart. I fell for it. I felt...like that’s what it meant to be loved, not wanting to be apart. That first day it was a disaster. He hated my friends and found every opportunity to tell me. By the end of sophomore year, he was my only friend. So, when he ran into some money problems I wanted to help him. I wanted to prove to him how much I loved him. And I got expelled but he still said it was okay I was still special to him.”

“That’s when you sold the test answers?” Harvey asked remembering Mike tell him the reason why he was kicked out of college.

Mike nodded. “And I was about to go to Harvard. When I started thinking about it, I realized may be he didn’t want me to go. That’s why he sold the test to Dean’s daughter. Everyone knew who she was.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him.”

“After that we moved into a small apartment. He told me he was going to make everything better for us. Then Grammy needed to be put into a home. And he was paying for her and our rent. I didn’t see it like he was controlling me even when he said that my paychecks as a bike messenger should go to him. At the time it made sense, he paid for everything. The first time he slapped me, I broke a glass. He got mad, telling me I was wasting his money. As I sat there cradling my cheek in complete shock, he apologized saying that he was under a lot of stress. And I believed it. But as time went on it continued. Every time he called me a name he said he was sorry that he loved me but sometimes I made him angry. I kept telling him I'd be better. He was able to make me feel worthy and useless all at the same time. Everything that went wrong was my fault but I felt so special because he still loved me even though I was a complete fuck up. By the time I realized how messed up everything was I was alone. He was paying for Grammy's care, he controlled the food, the apartment, everything. I rarely got to see Grammy.” Mike said said slowly trying to keep the sour taste out of his mouth.

Harvey rubbed Mike’s trembling arms, reminding him that he wasn’t back in that apartment. “When did you know you had to leave?”

“When I could call it abuse for the first time, that was when I knew I had to get out. We got into this argument one day and he pushed me down a flight of stairs.”

“Fuck.”

“I woke up in the hospital from a three-day coma, when I first said what he was doing was abuse. It made me feel so dirty afterward but it was like I was opening my eyes for the first time. I read once that the first step the most important step is being able to call it abuse. I think I gave it all these names because…partially because I was afraid of calling it abuse and what it meant. When I finally gave it its proper name that’s when I knew I was never going to go back. But I was so scared. I didn’t know how to leave him. When your world defines your very existence who do you become? When your world is gone what do you do? You know?"

“You rebuild.”

“It’s harder than you can possibly know. It was absolutely terrifying and difficult so I kept dragging my feet." Harvey pulled Mike closer to him unwilling to ever let him go. “Until the day you hired me.” Mike said. “You gave me chance. When I couldn’t see anything worthwhile, you saw something in me. That was the first time in a long time I felt like I was capable of doing anything. You gave me that.”

“I didn’t give you anything, Mike, you were always capable. You just had an anchor holding you back.”

They sat in a comfortable silence contemplating everything. Mike’s eyelids slowly started to droop, the emotionally charged week finally taking its toll.

"I knew." Harvey whispered tugging Mike back from the brink of sleep. 

"What?"

"I knew, or rather I suspected, that someone abused you at some point. When you saw Trevor, I knew it was him and I knew it had to have been bad based on your reaction."

"What? How? Why?" Mike stammered turning to face Harvey. His eyes searched Harvey’s face for any signs.

"That day you ran into the interview I knew you were running from something bad. It wasn’t just the desperation written on your face or when the marijuana spilled or the faint limp you had. It was the fear in your eyes that you were trying to hide that told me I had to help you. That was one of the reasons why I hired you. I just knew I had to get you away from whatever it was. I wanted to help you. Even if you didn’t have that brain of yours I would have done something. But then you had to show off, so of course I had to hire you.” Harvey chuckled. Mike sleepily laughed along.

Harvey continued brushing his fingertips along Mike’s arm, “I used to work at the DA’s so I've seen some of the worst cases of domestic violence. I recognized the signs. Just like how you were taught the signs, except I was an outsider so it was easier for me to recognize them. Your evasiveness, the bandage, your reaction to him, I knew what they meant. I didn't say anything because I also know how difficult it is to talk about it. If I had asked, you would have denied it. So I knew you had to be the one to tell me on your own terms. I wanted to know, but they're not my scars to tell. These past few days I wasn't trying to brush you off; I wanted to give you space to tell me when you felt comfortable. I was frustrated with myself because I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to help you. I wanted to, god I wanted to punch Trevor or something. But mostly, Mike, I wanted to take away all of your fears. That’s why I didn’t tell you about Trevor’s case. It wasn’t because I thought you were incapable. I just couldn’t stand…” Harvey started pulling Mike impossibly closer, “it tore me apart watching you and not knowing what to do. I should have protected you better. I should have said something to Jessica that first time she wanted you to apologize to him. I knew. But for the first time, I felt powerless like I couldn’t protect you. So, I should -- "

Mike leaned up kissing Harvey fiercely. "Thank you. I know it was frustrating for you. But you don’t need to protect me. But thank you."

Harvey whispered, “thank you for telling me everything. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Mike mumbled back something that was either “whatever, me too” or “waterfall meat.” 

“Come on let’s get you to bed.”

“Don’t want to.” Mike mumbled snuggling closer to Harvey.

“Your back is going to hurt in the morning.” Harvey chuckled as he stood dragging Mike to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Once Harvey’s arms were wrapped around Mike again and they under the safety of their blankets, Mike laid with his back pressed firmly close to Harvey. Both completely emotionally spent unwilling to be apart.

**> >>**

It was still dark outside when Mike opened his swollen eyes. He felt around next to him for Harvey but only felt cold empty sheets. Feeling slightly chilled now that Harvey wasn’t next to him, Mike sat up swinging his legs off the bed. Quietly, Mike followed the soft light that was coming from the living room. He picked up one of the throw blankets before walking onto the balcony rubbing some warmth into his arms. The air still held the crisp of winter as it slowly entered spring. But there was Harvey in nothing but his henley and sweats leaning against the railing looking at the twinkling city lights.

"What are you doing? Come back to bed." Mike said his voice rough from sleep. “Aren’t you cold?” Mike walked up behind him, wrapping them both in the blanket.

Harvey stared at the skyscrapers that reached high above the ground. He stared at the Empire State building, a building people said couldn’t be built. Yet there it stood high above the rest reaching for the stars. Just like Mike, someone who was broken and beaten, yet he still came out on top. He still stood high above everyone else. Harvey finally looked away from the dark skyline to look at Mike. "How can you stay with me?" Harvey finally asked.

“What are you talking about?” Mike paused frowning when Harvey didn’t respond. "Do you see that rose on the table?"

"What about it?" Harvey asked squinting at the single rose on the dining table. He had bought several everyday since Mike found that flowers at his desk. Now, knowing everything, it sickened him.

"That's why I stay."

"A rose?"

Mike shook his head. "The reason why you gave it to me. You have this knack of pretending like whatever I said was stupid or that you weren't paying attention."

"You like that?" Harvey asked raising his eyebrow.

Mike shook his head again. "It's what you do next that I love. You'll get me whatever it is. Like the rose."

"I'm just trying to apologize."

"But it's more than that. You'd get me things or say something when I need it the most or it would be exactly what I wanted even though I never said it. I know you're just pretending not to pay attention because showing that you care is a weakness. I get it. I remember when one of the clients wanted the last red velvet cupcake I never told you that I was saving it or that it's my favorite. But the next day there was one on my desk I knew it was from you even though you never said anything. You brought me soup even though I never returned your calls. You didn't yell at me even though I knew you really wanted to. You got me a rose even though I said I’m not a flower person, but you somehow knew I liked the cheesy romantic things. Harvey I love you because you hear the words I that I keep to myself." Mike said kissing Harvey on the corner of his lips.

"But all those times when I called you an idiot, I talked to you like I owned you, I spoke for you. Fuck when you tried to talk to me I brushed you off. The other night when you called I should have listened. I should have...I’m just like him."

"Harvey? You're not like him."

"But I am the same. They talk about how abuse it stems from a power imbalance. The alpha exerts absolute control over the other either through physical or emotional means." Harvey said like it was perfect logic.

"You're not controlling me. You never controlled me."

"But I am. That time I told you that I made you." Harvey scoffed turning back to the city.

"I don’t know how to explain it. It's different with you. When I was with him I was always scared.” Mike said hugging Harvey from behind letting his warmth seep into Harvey. How long was he out here thinking he was just like Trevor? “But with you I'm not. With him it was all about making me feel insecure and weak. Even though you say those things I know that it’s not malicious. I feel stronger because of you. You make me want to be a better version of myself. I know when you call me an idiot you’re saying it because you know I am capable of doing better. You push me to do better. Trevor all he did was push me down so that I had no one else to rely, no one who I could turn to. With you, I learned to stand on my own.”

“I didn’t do any of those things, Mike, you are strong on your own.”

“Maybe. But when I met you I was scared. I felt pathetic and weak and useless. But then you came along and showed me what I am capable of doing. When I started to feel something for you, I tried to deny it. I was scared. I didn’t think I was capable of being loved. I thought, if you ever found out what happened, you’d think...differently of me. I thought everyone was going to be the same. But, Harvey, you’ve never hit me, the things you’ve said the things you’ve done, sure it might be similar, but what’s different is the intent behind it. Isn’t that part of the law? With Trevor everything he did was always so that he could have someone to control, so that he had power. You’ve never been malicious, with you it’s always been about making me better. Sure, may be a better lawyer to make you look good, but you taught me how to become the person I had forgotten.” Mike said with a tear rolling down his cheek. He turned Harvey around to cup his cheeks, Mike planted a gentle kiss. “You taught me to be confident and to love myself, when I didn’t know how to. Since meeting you, for the first time I feel loved.”

“But--” Harvey said.

“Shh. You’re not like him. You’ll never be like him. I don’t want you to ever compare yourself to him again.”

They stood there, gently kissing each other without any desire to rush it.

“Let’s go back to bed.” Mike mumbled finally pulling away. He held his hand out for Harvey. Harvey reached out linking their fingers together, allowing Mike to lead him back inside. Silently, they went through the room locking the sliding door and turning off the lights without letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't know, the "as you wish" comment Harvey makes is from the _Princess Bride_ and is thought to be one of the most romantic things ever uttered. Maybe only thought by the author...


	8. Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy angst with drama because it's Trevor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my long absence! I finally graduated and can now focus more on this story. Thanks everyone for sticking with the story and a flaky author. 
> 
> By the way, I didn't graduate from law school so I don't know anything about law. What I know comes from TV...so from here on out don't take anything in here as an accurate portrayal of the law.

Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound

“Safe and Sound” - Taylor Swift Feat. The Civil Wars

  
**Chapter 8: Safe and Sound**  


Mike slowly opened his eyes taking in the city skyline. He just wanted to stay in the comfortable bed for a few more minutes longer before dealing with the aftermath of the revelation. It was still strange knowing that someone else knew his darkest secrets. Someone managed to chip away at his mask. Even though last night showed just how much his shield was cracking, the idea of it breaking completely still terrified him. For so long now Mike hid behind a careful facade fighting back a darkness that threatened to engulf him. He’d imagine himself as the hero in one of his favorite books fighting the tendrils that seeped out from the memories.

Some days the it wrapped around him so tightly, threatening to crush his chest. He could barely drag himself out of bed. It was a constant struggle. Some days it didn’t seem worth getting up only to be pushed back down. But now he had Harvey to help him fight back. Now more frequently the tendrils only tickled his mind as if remindering him that it was still there. Waiting.

Mike slowly exhaled unable to believe that he actually told Harvey about the abuse. It was like a heavy weight was lifted off of him. Still, though, there was a lot Harvey didn’t know. Things that Mike wasn’t sure if he could bring himself to tell. Things that would completely destroy the image he so carefully built around him.

Mike finally ready to face Harvey, rolled over. He frowned at the small notepad paper laid neatly on Harvey’s cold pillow.

_Mike: I went out to get bagels. Don't worry about work; I called Donna and told her that we're not coming in. I'll be back soon.  
Harvey_

Mike lay there in bed, his fingers still gripping the paper tightly as if it was the only thing tethering him to this reality. Slowly, Mike finally gathered to strength to drag himself out of the comfortable bed to shower and try to do something about his red puffy eyes. He was still staring at his eyes gingerly touching them when he heard the door open.

“Hey.” Mike said walking out of the bathroom. In the end there wasn’t anything he could do about the redness.

"You look terrible." Harvey replied taking a look at Mike. He placed the two bagels and a cardboard tray with two cups of coffee on the counter with shaking hands. 

Mike smiled knowing that there was no malice behind the words. It was Harvey's way of showing that he wasn't going to treat Mike any differently. Even if Mike never told him about the abuse, Harvey would have said something about his pale face and the red puffy-eyes. Mike wasn’t something fragile; he wasn’t going to break if the wrong word was spoken. 

“Thank you.” Mike whispered brushing the back of Harvey’s hand with his fingers calming his trembling hand. “This is what I needed.” Harvey finally met Mike’s eyes smiling. “I mean the bagel and the coffee.”

Harvey shook his heading laughing softly. “Ass.” He gently tilted Mike’s chin up pressing a soft chaste kiss to his lips. “Thank you for telling me. But I want to know everything that happened. Everything.”

“Harvey.” Mike stammered. “I dunno if I can. I just want to focus on the now.”

“Me too. That’s why I want to know because right now you’re still terrified of the the past. I want to make sure what happened these past few days won’t happen again. I want to know what might trigger you and what to do when you’re like that. So it never happens again.” 

“You can’t protect me from bad memories.” Mike whispered. Even though every word that Harvey said was true, he still wanted to put Trevor in a box in the back of his mind.

Harvey shook his head. Entwining his fingers with Mike’s, Harvey continued. “No, but I can help you change them to good memories. Everything that he did whether it was giving you flowers or insulting your cooking, I’m going to change it. So that when it happens, you will have good memories to think about. And we’ll always do this on your own time. When you want to and when you’re ready.”

Mike leaned in resting his forehead on Harvey’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“By the way, when I told Donna that we’re not coming in, she asked if my morning meeting was going to be an all day meeting. She thinks she’s hilarious. But I thought we could spend the day watching those crappy movies you like. And maybe cuddle. I know how much you like to cuddle.” Harvey said leaning into Mike capturing his bottom lip.

“You know that was almost romantic. Except I know you like cuddling more than me. You’re just using me as an excuse.” Mike laughed.

“It works.”

For the rest of weekend they spent wrapped up in their own personal world. Harvey was able to keep the darkness in Mike at bay. There were nights when Mike woke up from a nightmare but Harvey would just hold him tighter muttering he was safe. And then there were moments when Mike would open up.

“Do you want to order take out?” Harvey asked. He pulled out a stack of their favorite restaurant menus from the top drawer in the kitchen. The amount of menus he had stored away was probably a bad sign. But he couldn’t throw them away. 

“I want to cook.” Mike said from the living room. He stared at the TV licking his lips before standing to join Harvey in the kitchen. 

“Okay.” Harvey shrugged putting the menus away.

“Wait.” Mike said quickly grabbing the menus. “Is this why you never let me look at them? What are all these notes?” Mike read the menus closely, examining the edits Harvey made.

“It’s nothing.” Harvey replied snatching them back and shoving them back in the drawer even though it was too late.

“Those are the dishes that I like. Some of it’s from places we haven’t been to since before we started dating. Harvey…” Mike said clutching Harvey’s wrist. “You remembered my orders?”

Harvey shrugged like it wasn’t big deal.

“Even the vegetables that I don’t like?”

Again Harvey shrugged.

“You’ve been in love me for a long time.” Mike said smiling.

“Don’t tell Donna. She’d say I was in love with you since the Chilton.”

“Oh I believe it.” Mike said. He kissed Harvey once more. “I love you.”

“Me too.” Harvey whispered like a secret. “Now what are we cooking?”

“Way to ruin a moment.” Mike took a step back to look in the fridge. 

After looking at the sparse inventory Mike decided on salmon with a toss salad. There were somethings that he was definitely going to have to improvise. But Harvey seemed content on just following Mike’s lead.

Even in Harvey’s huge kitchen, they were continent to work shoulder to shoulder in comfortable silence. Every few minutes Harvey steal a glance at Mike with a soft fond smile dancing on his lips. Every once in a while Mike would catch the looks. 

Mike had just finished putting the salmon on two plates. As he waited for Harvey to finish the salad, Mike finally spoke, “You know I’ve always pictured being with someone who didn’t know how to cook. You know, so I could say ‘here let me show you how to tenderize that steak’ or whatever. Like in those stupid romantic comedies.” 

Harvey chuckled, shaking head before focusing on the vegetables again. “Life isn’t like the movies.”

“I know. But I thought it would be fun or at least something we could laugh at.”

Harvey finished cutting the carrots and cucumbers and put the knife in the sink. “I’m not sure how to shred the lettuce.” Harvey said. A playful smile danced on his lips. 

“Let me show you.” Mike leaned in close behind Harvey. He slowly dragging his hand down Harvey’s arm until he reached his hands. Holding his hand, Mike began manipulating Harvey’s fingers to tear the lettuce leaf into smaller pieces. “You’re a natural at this.” Mike said. He kissed Harvey before laughing. “That was just as a ridiculous as I thought it was going to be.”

“You suggested it.” Harvey replied. He shredded the rest of the lettuce without Mike’s assistance. “But it was kind of sexy.”

MIke smiled. He knew Harvey was waiting for him to talk about the real reason he brought all of this up. He took a deep breath. “I liked cooking even before I met Trevor. It was something my mom, Grammy, and I used to do together. It was nice. So, whenever I thought about my future I always thought it was going to include someone who I could do it with. Trevor wasn’t interested. I figured that was okay. It’s just a dream. But then I started hating it.”

“What’d he do?” Harvey turned to face Mike. He leaned casually against the counter with his arms crossed his chest.

Mike paused licking his lip. Even though he was the one who started the conversation knowing where it was going to lead he wasn’t sure if he was ready to talk about it. He swallowed thickly. “He said that since I was always the bottom like a woman, I should just be a woman and cook all the meals.” Mike left the implication hanging in the air unable to further explain it, but knowing that Harvey understood what he meant.

Harvey didn’t say anything at first; all he did was move closer to Mike. “I haven’t cooked in a long time. Not since college. But may be with the right person I could like cooking.” Harvey said bracketing Mike in against the counter. He leaned in kissing Mike’s lips that easily parted to chase after the smokey scotch taste lingering on Harvey’s breath.

“May be we can try cooking one night.” Mike suggested shyly against Harvey’s lips.

“I’d like that.” Harvey sucked a burning kiss against Mike’s neck.

“If you don’t like it, I’m fine with cooking all the time. I love cooking.” Mike said leaning in toward Harvey. “I’ve never…” Mike pushed away from Harvey. “What is the innuendo for the other person?” 

“I was talking about cooking. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Harvey smirked as Mike blushed. “But we can do that too.”

**> >>**

The next day was darker for Mike. The tendrils crept farther out in the morning. Even Harvey couldn’t chase them away. They stayed on the couch in silence watching a movie with Mike leaning against Harvey.

“When my parents found out that my babysitter was in an abusive relationship. They asked me if the boyfriend ever came over. I lied to them because she begged me not to tell anyone. She said it was because my parents told her she couldn’t bring people over. But when I realized that he might have killed her. I kept thinking it was my fault. I didn’t tell anyone that he yelled at her that night. If I had told someone, anyone, she could still be alive.” Mike said suddenly during what was supposed to be a happy scene in the movie. It just reminded him that she was never going to get that moment. How could he sit on the couch finally happy when it was his fault she died?

“You couldn’t have known what was going to happen.” Harvey said. He looked down into Mike’s pale blue eyes. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I tried to convince myself that her death wasn’t my fault but she died a couple weeks after.” Mike buried his face in Harvey’s shoulder. “It was my fault.”

“Hindsight is always perfect. You couldn’t have done anything.”

“I should have told someone and may be she could have gotten away from him.” Mike kept muttering as tears started to leak from his eyes. 

Harvey hugged Mike tightly, rubbing his hand on Mike’s back, whispering it wasn’t his fault. 

“That’s not going to be you.” Harvey whispered. “He’s never going to hurt you again.”

And just like that the darkness slowly started to recede pushing the real fear farther back. 

After the movie and Mike’s instance that everything was okay, Harvey said he had to run an errand he was going to be very long. Mike just said he was going to be sitting here watching whatever was on TV. True to his word, he didn’t move when Harvey returned an hour later. 

"Here." Harvey said handing Mike a key as he sat next to him. 

Mike turned the key over in his hands a few times before saying anything. "Are you asking me to move in? Because as much as I love waking up to bagels and coffee, and you of course, I like my apartment. It was the first place that was mine."

“I don’t understand. You spend most of your time here anyways. Your place is basically a death trap. You’re asking to get tetanus or the plague there.”

“Harvey,” Mike said gently placing his hand on Harvey’s. The tendrils slowly crept into Mike’s vision showing flashes of Trevor’s outbursts. “Talk to me.”

Harvey closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. The silence was strangely deafening as if the tendrils sucked up every sound in its path until finally Harvey spoke. “It terrifies me. He knows where you live. He can easily come back and hurt you and I wouldn’t be there to do anything. Again. But I get it.” Harvey said pausing to shake his head to calm himself down. “The key doesn't have to mean you’re moving in; it just means whenever you feel scared or unsafe or hell even if you just want to, you're welcome here. I don't even need to be here. This place can be your home too if you want it to be. We can make it your home."

"What happened to the Harvey Specter I know? I think this is the most heartfelt you've ever been." Mike smiled.

"I can go back to being an emotionless asshole if you like." Harvey said, jokingly taking the key back.

"For everyone else." Mike replied. He wrapped his arms around Harvey’s neck pulling him down for a kiss. “But you did remind me that I need to go back to my place.”

“Your place?”

“I don’t have clothes here. If you haven’t noticed I’ve been borrowing yours.”

“I did. Your skinny ass is drowning in it.”

“Thanks.”

Harvey sighed. “Fine. Luckily I got my tetanus shot.”

“Did you get rabies too? There might be a raccoon.”

Harvey rolled his eyes as Mike laughed. 

It didn’t take long for Ray to drive up to Mike’s old apartment building. Mike pulled out a suitcase to start packing the essentials. He’d slowly move in with Harvey, Mike decided. He straightened and looked around the place for anything else he might need.

“I can’t.” Mike finally turned toward Harvey biting his lip. “I can’t leave this place. This is my home. It was the first place I felt safe after leaving Trevor.”

“But he knows.”

Mike licked his lip, counted to ten as the darkness slowly slithered away. “You’ve done a lot for me already. I’m going back to your place, Harv. But I need this place. If I leave it then it would be like telling Trevor he still has this power over me that I can’t let him have back. It scares me too that he knows where I live. But if I move, he will know that I’m still afraid of him.”

“Okay.” Harvey said. He pressed his lips to Mike as he inched his hand under his shirt. “Then let’s change that.” 

The back of Mike’s knees hit the edge of the bed as Harvey tugs his shirt off. It was a flurry of clothes being removed and breathy kisses. 

It was dusk by the time Mike rolled onto his stomach. For a moment fear rippled through him seeing a man standing by his dresser.

"You look beautiful naked.” Mike groggily said when he realized that it was a naked Harvey and not Trevor. All the muscles in his body ached and he was sure his neighbors weren’t happy with the noise. If he didn’t know any better, he would think that was Harvey’s plan. “What are you doing?”

It was light enough for Mike to see the giant smirk on Harvey’s face. He walked back to the bed, lying down next to Mike. "Why do you have a broken pocket watch?"

"Hmm?” Mike turned the gold watch over in his hands. His thumb traced the filament that sprouted from the bottom of small shield in the middle of the front case. Like vines, they wove together along the edge encasing two flowers. Finally, Mike’s thumb hit the small dent at the top. “It was my great grandfather’s. It's been passed down. But it broke a while ago and I didn't have the money to fix it and, well, I didn't really know where to take it. Anyway, the story goes that it saved every past owner. My great grandfather fought in World War I and supposedly it saved him from a piece of shrapnel.” Mike pointed out the small nick in the middle then to the dent at the top. “Same thing with my grandpa, except a bullet in Vietnam. Grammy gave it to me on my 18th birthday saying it will save me too one day. But it’s just superstition. If it saved all these people, why didn’t it save my parents?” Mike said frowning. “I know it’s stupid.”

“It’s stupid to rely on a superstition. But it’s not stupid to wish it could have saved them.” Harvey said softly he stroked Mike’s back. He leaned in and kissed Mike’s head. “Want to stay here?”  
Mike hummed as he slowly started to drift asleep.

**> >>**

Try as they might, Harvey and Mike couldn’t stay hidden away for long. They had clients who were going to start wondering where they were. But that short weekend together was long enough for the darkness to stay in the recess of Mike’s mind. Every day Mike thanked Harvey for everything.

“So, how was the meeting?” Donna asked when Harvey and Mike stepped off the elevator. He raised his eyebrow at her.

“Uh. I’m going to go…” Mike said blushing. “Hi, Donna.” He added before rushing down the hallway.

“It was good.” Harvey said. He took a step forward only to be blocked. Again he raised his eyebrow.

“Is Mike okay?”

“Yes…”

“I’m glad. So he told you.”

“Told me what?”

“Come on Harvey, I know.” Donna said. Harvey continued looking at her wondering where she was going with this. “I worked at the DA with you. I saw all of the files that you saw. So, I know the signs too.”

“He told me.”

“He’s going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Harvey said smiling. He looked down the hallway toward Mike’s office  
believing for the first time that everything was going to be okay.

“I’m glad.” Donna replied. “By the way Trevor is in your office.” She said before turning on her heels back to her desk.

“You couldn’t have opened with that?” Harvey said following her. 

“I could have. But then you would have marched over here faster. He wouldn’t be waiting an extra ten minutes.”

“How long has he been waiting?”

“Half an hour? I wasn’t keeping track.”

“Can you tell him I’ll be there in a minute? I just have to get Mike.” Harvey said even though unease was starting to settle in his stomach. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something big was about to happen. He just knew. “He wants to be on the case.”

Donna nodded.

When Harvey explained that he was needed at the meeting with Trevor, Mike didn’t say a word only stood and followed a step behind Harvey. Taking a deep breath, he opened Harvey’s glass door.

“Harvey, nice of you to finally show up. Your secretary kept telling me you’d be here any minute.” Trevor said still sitting in the black leather chair at Harvey’s desk. “Were you preoccupied?” Trevor shot Mike a look. 

Mike tried to settle into the chair next to Trevor. But tension and discomfort radiated off of him.

“Good to see you, Mike.” Trevor said.

“Trevor, what do want?” Harvey leaned back in his chair. He pushed down the urge to punch Trevor or tell Mike to get some made up document. Anything would tell Trevor he knew.

“What’s this?” Harvey raised his eyebrows at the folder that Trevor unceremoniously threw in front of Harvey. Mike sat quietly as if hoping that if he didn’t make a sound Trevor wouldn’t know of his presence.

“My new terms.”

“New terms?” 

Trevor nodded. 

“Is something funny?” Trevor asked turning now to Mike, who gasp quietly, shaking his head.

Mike bit his lip before speaking. “It’s just typical of you: Always wanting more than you can have.”

Trevor’s eyes narrowed. “You’re letting your associate speak for you?”

“Yeah because I agree with him. You do realize we’re getting ready to go into the negotiation meeting later this afternoon. Where you gave them a list of pre-negotiation items that you wanted. It’s too late. This list will look like bad faith.” Harvey replied tossing the file back without even looking at it.

“Just do your job and get me what I want. I don’t care how. You just have to get me what I want.”

“I don’t have to do jack shit because you’re coming in here asking for things that I’m not going to get you. You know why? Because you’re acting like a spoiled brat. Now, what I am going to do is pretend this conversation didn’t happen.”

“I told them that there were added amendments.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

“I knew you were going to do this.” Trevor said, looking directly at Mike. “Just get me what I want. Because I always get what I want.” 

“Mike, I want you to compare this list with the original. See if there is any way to spin this.” Harvey said handing the file to Mike. Mike nodded before scurrying out of the room.

Once the door closed Harvey turned to Trevor. In a low almost murderous voice, he said, “I don’t know what game you’re playing. And I really don’t care. Leave Mike alone. After this case find a new lawyer. You go anywhere near Mike again and I’ll kill you.”

“He told you those lies?” Trevor scoffed not showing any fear or remorse.

“They’re not lies if they’re true.”

“Oh come on that’s complete bullshit. You’re a lawyer, you know nothing is true not even the truth. It’s all about who is telling it. And Mike all he had to do is spread his legs to get you to believe him.” Trevor scoffed shaking his head. “He’s a pathological liar. Think about it. He’s not even a real lawyer. I know for a fact he never got his license. He’s a lying fucking whore and that’s all he’s ever going to be.”

“Are you trying to piss me off?” Harvey gritted his teeth. 

“No. I’m saying that Bar might not agree with a disgruntled client, but they might listen to the ex-boyfriend of the fraud. And of course they’ll come after you and Jessica. I did the math. I know Mike was hired the day he left me. I don’t think it’s a coincidence.”

“What do you want?”

“I gave you a list.” Trevor said standing to leave. His hand rested on the door handle before turning and adding, “Oh, and Mike back.”


	9. Skin and Bones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kind of short but it segways into the next chapter.
> 
> Thanks for all of the support! I'm hoping to finish this story in the next few days or weeks. It's nearing the end! :)

Turn all the water on  
And bury that sound  
So no one hears anything anymore

“Skin and Bones” - Marianas Trench

**Chapter 9**

Mike stopped in the middle of the doorway to his office. His stomach churned; saliva quickly filled his mouth. The air in the room suddenly felt too thin, too stifling, too suffocating. The noises of people moving around behind him suddenly vanished. He was distantly aware that they were there, of course they had to be, it was an law firm. But where did the noise go? A part of Mike wanted to turn around just to make sure, but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. Someone must see Trevor sitting in the chair with his shoes on the desk like it was his office. Someone must see the monster in the room.

“What are you doing here?” Mike whispered finally.

“I wanted to see how the meeting went.” Mike jumped slightly when Trevor dropped his feet to the ground heavily. Trevor stood stepping away from the desk. All it took was that small movement for Mike to clear his head, even just a fraction, and regain some composure. 

Mike cleared his throat, taking a deep breath. Even though everything inside was screaming at him to leave the room and to get Harvey. He couldn’t. Or rather he didn’t want to. Trevor was his fight. Running to Harvey would be a clear sign that Trevor won yet again. “As well as it could since you messed it up.” 

“Mike, I didn’t do it on purpose. I just want what’s best for my company.” Trevor shrugged. “And all of those things will greatly improve it.”

“Why is it so important for you to get everything you want? That’s not how the world works.” For the first time Mike caught himself on the verge of yelling at Trevor. Fearing that someone would overhear, he shut the door. 

“I know that. I don’t always get everything I want.” Trevor rolled his eyes like he was talking to a child. “You left me.” Trevor looked at Mike with a slight smile almost like he was too shy to say it.

“That’s because…”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I want to apologize for everything and explain. I never meant to hurt you. Never. I never meant to cheat on you or do any of those things.”

“Is that all?” Mike bit his lip. It was strange hearing the admission to cheating for the first time. “Because I will never forgive you. Cheating doesn’t even come close to the worst you did. Please just leave me alone.”

“Fine. But, Mike, I have one more thing, when you left you didn’t take your things. And I held onto them hoping that you’d come back. This morning I was thinking about bringing it over for you.” Mike gave a small gasp when Trevor pulled out a small black velvet box from his jacket. Even without him opening it, Mike knew what was inside: a beautiful emerald cut diamond ring. 

“Grammy’s ring.” Mike whispered. He reached for it only for it to be snatched away and safely tucked back into Trevor’s pocket. Mike’s shoulders sagged slightly as he sighed. “You’re not going to give back.”

“I will.” Trevor smiled.

“Trevor, please it’s Grammy’s ring.” Seeing the ring for the first time in so long, brought Mike to the point of begging. Something he promised he wasn’t going to do because no good came from it. 

For months after leaving, Mike thought about how to sneak into the apartment just to get the ring and a few other things back. He mentally created a floor map of where everything Trevor kept hidden; he calculated the time it would take to box everything, 10 minutes, 20 minutes tops. But he never could get within a block of the building. As the months passed, he conceded he was never going to see what little he owned again. The next day he went to graves of the only four people who ever truly loved him to tearfully apologize for losing the ring and everything else because he was too much of a coward to face Trevor. Everything he had of them was gone. All he was left with were the memories of the people he loved. And now, he finally had the chance to get everything. But there was always a catch with Trevor.

“What do you want?” Mike said softly.

“I just want to talk.” Trevor leaned in. “Apologize for everything and return your things. Once we have dinner and talk, I’ll give your things back to you. I promise.”

Mike bit his lip searching for any lie in Trevor’s eyes. But the eyes were still the same like he was playing game with Mike. He didn’t want go, but he had to. “You promise? Just dinner and talking? Then you’ll give me back my things and you’ll leave me alone.”

Trevor nodded agreeing. “You can meet me at the little diner you like at 7 tomorrow.”

For the rest of the day, Mike hid out in the filing room not wanting to talk to anyone especially Harvey. Mike didn’t want to think about what was going to happen when Harvey finds out about the deal he just made with Trevor. 

He clenched his hands together tightly until his knuckles were white pressing them to his forehead. He willed the darkness to disappear. The tendrils were choking him with the memories of everything. How was he going to face the man who made his life hell, alone? He could barely stand being in the same room as Trevor without it feeling like his skin was crawling. Back there in his office, even though he managed to put on a brave front, he knew Trevor saw right through. Because that’s what Trevor did. He always managed to find a way to get under Mike’s armor and take what he wanted. It was how he used Grammy and now her ring against him. 

Mike jumped when a heavy hand landed on his shoulders.

“Mike?”

“Yeah, sorry, music.” Mike said. His voice sounding raspy. Was it because of crying or throwing up? At this point he didn’t even know.

Harvey raised his eyebrows at the silent earphones, but didn’t comment. “Donna said you were down here the whole day. You didn’t respond to my texts.”

“Text?” Mike picked up his phone to see the number of texts Harvey sent each one growing more and more concerned. “Uh, sorry, I guess I didn’t hear it.”

“I mainly asked if you’re coming over tonight?” Harvey shrugged. “I was going to leave now that’s why.” Harvey watched as Mike hurriedly packed up his things saying that he just needed a few minutes.

Dinner managed to distract Mike enough. Then again that’s what Harvey did. He always managed to make Mike smile even when he didn’t really want to. 

When they finally managed to get to Harvey’s condo, Mike flicked on all the lights as he pulled Harvey to the bedroom. Again Harvey only raised his eyebrows, but feeling the desperation from Mike, he let him take the lead. Once inside the minimalistic bedroom, Mike guided Harvey to the edge of the bed. Silently, Mike pulled Harvey’s jacket off and put it on the hanger that was still out. The next to come off was the vest, tie and shirt. The whole show was off; it wasn’t as sexy as it should have been. Harvey gently held Mike’s wrist when they finally ventured to the belt searching for something in his eyes. But it seemed like a single word could break whatever spell they were under. 

Once Harvey was void of clothing, he rested his back against the headrest watching Mike. It took seconds for Mike to leave his own clothes in a pile on the floor. Finally, Mike straddled Harvey and his lips came crashing down on Harvey’s. Feeling the urgency and the desperation, it was like Mike was trying to convey everything through his lips and tongue. Yet, they weren’t words that Harvey understood. Harvey growled in frustration as Mike grinded his cock against his.

“Need you inside.” Mike’s voice warm and gravelly in Harvey’s ear. Harvey leaned over to get the bottle of lube they always had. He watched Mike quickly smear a glob of it on his fingers and start to stretch his hole. Harvey spread Mike’s ass feeling the slight pull of the fingers. 

“Ready.” Mike’s voice shot through Harvey making his cock twitch.

“No you’re not.” Harvey shook his head. Mike whined even though he continued to thrust his fingers. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

After a few minutes, Harvey finally nodded that Mike was ready. Mike leaned down kissing Harvey with everything he had when Harvey finally entered him. Mike used every trick he knew. He knew all of Harvey’s secret spots (the spot right behind his left ear); knew that he secretly liked it when Mike is in control. Mike's eyes rolled back when Harvey wrapped his fingers firmly around his cock. He was going to overload. Mike continued fucking himself on Harvey until Harvey finally gripped Mike’s hips tightly stilling him as he thrusted into Mike reaching the places and the depth he couldn't. It only took a few more thrusts for Harvey to come with deep growl. And for Mike to follow with his brain finally quiet and blank. 

“Hey what’s got into you?” Harvey said rubbing his hands on Mike’s thighs. 

“You didn’t like it?” Mike lifted his head from Harvey’s shoulder to look into his brown eyes.

“I didn’t say that.”

“But there was something wrong with what I was doing.”

“I didn’t say that either. I can just tell something is wrong. Since the filing room, something has been off with you today.”

Mike clenched his jaw not wanting to say anything and wanting to say everything. He just wanted everything to be quiet. All day his mind kept racing through multiple scenarios of what Trevor might do. Each one getting worse than the last.

“Trevor came to my office. He didn’t do anything. He just apologized for everything...” Mike whispered. He stroked Harvey’s chest wanting to soothe him.

“Really you believing him?”

“No. It’s not that I believe him, Harvey it’s like he’s a bad song that I can’t get out of my head. This entire time I thought I was rid of him but may be not.”

Harvey rolled them over so he was on top of Mike. “You are. You have me now. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. So every bad thing you were thinking of, don’t. But I know you needed the sex to finally shut that super brain up. I don’t mind. I still love you.”

“I’m sorry.” Mike turned his head away.

Harvey smiled softly. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

“There is. He wants to talk.”

“Mike. No. I’m not going to let you talk to him.” Harvey said loudly getting out of bed.

“Harv! You don’t understand.” Mike popped up to his knees staring after Harvey who retrieved a bottle of water he must have had hidden. “He has a box of my things including Grammy’s ring. I have to get it back. It’s all I have left of them.” Mike turned his head shyly away. “I thought I lost it all.”

“What’s the catch?” Harvey opened the bottle taking a sip before handing it to Mike.

“He wants to talk at dinner.”

“And then what? You just said he’s like a bad song what if he sings the same tunes that got you to stay with him for five years? What if he attacks you?” Harvey reached out stroking Mike’s cheek. “I can’t lose you.”

“You don’t trust me with him.”

“That’s not it, Mike, I don’t trust _him_ with you. He’ll manipulate you. Mike, he told me that he wants you back. He basically said he was going to do whatever it takes to get you back.”

“You think I don’t I know that? I know that’s what he’s playing.” Mike leaned over the bed for his pants. “Harvey believe me I know he’s going to try to manipulate me because that’s the type of person he is. So, you think I’m not scared to seeing him, knowing the power he has over me -- He still has over me -- I am scared. I’m scared that I’m going to become that person I hate again.” Mike shoved his boxer.

“Look you don’t have to leave.”

“I’m not. I was getting cold.” The corners of Mike’s lips finally pulling up into a smile. Mike pulled out a soft leather wallet. He sat back down onto the bed, resting against the headrest. He waited until Harvey got the message that Mike wanted him to join him. “I’m going to prove to you why I’m never getting back with him. I remember almost everything he did to me except once. Do you realize how much that fucking terrified me, that I couldn’t remember something? I never told anyone. I only vaguely told you. Anyway that day he pushed me down a flight of stairs I can’t tell you what we were fighting about or how I got to the hospital. All I know is that I woke up three days later. I remember seeing Trevor and he said that he had to come back later. But this nurse came in once he left. She was older like my mom’s age if she was alive. She told me they had to place me in a medically induced coma because my brain was swelling. She said I was lucky to have gotten to the hospital in time. I didn’t understand at the time why she was saying that. Then she kept asking me all these questions about Trevor and I. That’s when I realized she was looking for anything to report to the police. I begged her not to report anything because…” Mike’s voice broke. “She didn’t let me finish what I wanted to say. She was the first person to tell me I was going to die if I didn’t leave him. I didn’t believe her until I saw this.” Mike pulled out a tattered grainy image of Trevor holding Mike up right outside of the hospital. Mike was leaning heavily on Trevor as he cradled his arm. “He didn’t even call an ambulance. He didn’t even take me to the hospital immediately. I keep this image to remind myself everyday why I keep fighting. Why I would never go back to him.”

“Do you want me there at the restaurant?” Harvey said after a while. He intertwined their fingers together locking them as one.

“No.” Mike rested his head on Harvey’s chest just allowing himself to breathe. “If you’re there, he won’t give it back to me. Just give me two hours and if I don’t call you, send in the cavalry.”

“Worse, I’ll send Donna.” Harvey replied kissing Mike. “Two hours that’s it.”


	10. Replace Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret meetings and getting ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY for the disappearance. I had been meaning to get back to this story. But my muse was on hiatus and well RL got seriously in the way. 
> 
> I think there will probably be 3 more chapters at most 4. 
> 
> Thanks for waiting for my return.

This heart it wants to beat  
These Lungs they want to breathe  
These eyes they want to see

“Replace Me” – Family Force Five 

**Chapter 10: Replace Me**

Scottie sat at her desk in front of the impressive view of the city-- though, admittedly, not as impressive as Harvey’s-- concentrating on the document in front of her. Harvey had to admit if he weren’t so hopelessly in love with Mike, he would have pursued Scottie more. But in every way that separated Mike and Scottie only made him love Mike even more.

Harvey cleared his throat waiting for her to look up. It was the last place he wanted to be, doing the last thing he wanted to do, but it was the only thing he could think to do. Trevor wasn’t going to leave Mike alone willingly, so he needed a little “nudge.”

“Harvey?” Scottie said, a little surprised to see him at her office. “Is Trevor withdrawing his counter offers?”

“No.” Harvey sat down in the chair across from Scottie. “How are you doing, Scottie? See I still have manners.”

“I’ll be glad when this merger is done.” Scottie replied rubbing her temples. She narrowed her eyes inspecting Harvey, breaking him down into little pieces to analyze. “Why are you here? You’re not here to ask me about my day.”

“You’re so uptight. You were like this at Harvard, you know when your boyfriend was the library.” Harvey replied smirking. He resisted the urge to change how he was sitting. It was just going to make Scottie more suspicious.

“Your smug ass can leave. The door is over there.”

Harvey sighed, leaned forward across Scottie’s desk. “Fine Scottie. You win; I actually came here because I need a favor. I need you to make McHale not want to merge.” 

“I wouldn’t call that a favor. That’s more like a death wish, career suicide. I’d lose money and my reputation. Plus McHale is still insistent on merging against my advice, but with his own new terms.” Scottie replied. Harvey raised his eyebrow when Scottie slapped a folder on the desk. “Why can’t they make it easy? It was supposed to be a simple merger? I was supposed to be sipping on Mai Tais in Hawaii yesterday, getting a massage. Plus, isn’t Evans your client? Why are you trying to get him out of the merger?” Scottie narrowing her eyes to examine him again.

“I didn't say I was. I asked for you to convince McHale that merging is a bad idea.”

Scottie paused staring straight at Harvey trying to decode the man she always thought she let get away. Maybe in another lifetime it could have been. “Right...Unless you have some compelling reason like Trevor is actually a murderer wanted in two different states, I can’t do much.”

“As far as I know he’s not a murderer. Look, I’m not coming to you as his attorney. I’m coming to you as Mike’s friend.” Harvey said looking straight at her.

Scottie smirked, raising her eyebrow seeing through Harvey’s attempt at leaving details out. They’ve known each other long enough that she could see all of his tells-- the slight twitch of his left eyebrow-- it was almost unnoticeable.

Harvey added, “And boyfriend. Trevor and Mike had a relationship that Trevor wouldn’t want to come out. But it wouldn’t be entirely damaging if it did. He would be able to get by. But as much as possible I don’t want Mike to have any more contact with him because of this,” Harvey handed Scottie a sheet of paper over to her. Scottie put her hand to her mouth muffling the gasp. “Scottie, Jessica won’t let me let go of Trevor for a number of reasons. Even if I went to her with this, she wouldn’t do anything unless she knew the truth. And that is not going to happen. I won’t let it. Mike doesn’t want people to know. But if McHale were to withdrew the offer then Jessica would still be pissed but she’d accept it.”

“What you’re implying is damaging, regardless of what you say. McHale wouldn’t merge with someone like this. Especially if he knew beforehand. He's an honorable person. And now I’m obligated to tell him.” Scottie replied coming to the realization of why he came to her with this favor. She gently held the picture. The person in the photo looked nothing like the resilient, optimistic man who chased after Harvey. The person she saw was someone who was repeatedly torn down with little hope of ever standing up again.

Harvey sighed, “I know. I know the type of man McHale is. That’s why...his company deserves better than someone like Trevor.”

“I’ll tell McHale and he’ll officially withdraw his offer.” Scottie sighed thinking about the month of wasted time.

“That’s not enough.”

“What do you propose I to do? Why not just go to the police with this?”

“Tell McHale of course. I need Trevor out of Mike’s life permanently. I’m not proposing you kill him, rather kill the last thing he has, his business. I want Trevor to serve time for what he did. I want to get him on tape saying that he abused Mike. I want this over before it even goes to the police.”

“I get where you're coming from and why you want to do it but is this really the best way? Is Mike okay with this? I mean everything you just told me were things that you wanted.”

“He’ll understand.”

“Just listen to me, not as lawyers but as friends.” Scottie gently touched Harvey’s arm. “I understand that you love Mike and want the best for him but, this photo and what you’re saying is deeply personal. If he told you then he trusts you because from what I have heard no one knows about this. Did you talk to him about your plan?”

“Like I said he’ll understand. He wants Trevor gone just as much as I do.”

Scottie shook her head, “You don’t understand. It’s more complicated than that. He loved him at one point in his life. Based on the Mike that I know, he wouldn’t want to hurt Trevor regardless of what happened. And, on top of that, you just broke his trust.”

“No I’m fixing the problem.”

“This isn’t something that you can just close and be done with it.”

“Look, Scottie, I’ll deal with Mike _if_ it turns out that he has a problem with me protecting him from Trevor. Which he won’t,” Harvey stood straightening his jacket. Before he turned to leave, he said, “Just, please, Scottie, help me and quickly.”

Scottie sighed watching Harvey walk out the door. “The one time you practically beg me it’s for someone else. And for something that will end badly.”

**> >>**

“Where are you meeting him again?” Harvey picked up the broken pocket watch that was still sitting on Mike’s dresser, while Mike was busy trying to find an acceptable shirt.

“Uh, Grammy’s.” Mike said pulling out a blue button down shirt. Harvey stared at the shirt wondering if Mike knew how much it brought out his eyes. “Not my Grammy’s grave because that would be creepy.” Harvey chuckled.

“Never heard of it.” Harvey sat down on the bed stretching out before leaning against the headrest. His fingers traced the gold filaments on the watch.

Mike finished buttoning the shirt before continuing. “Not surprised. It’s a small diner in Brooklyn. Trevor and I used to go there all the time.”

“Oh? If they food is that good, why haven’t you taken me there yet?”

“It’s not that the food is good. It’s not really on par with your pallet. It just reminds me of home with my parents and Grammy.” Mike threw a smile at Harvey. “She doesn’t serve filet mignon or scallops. Actually I think she did once but it was a special occasion.”

“I’d like to go there sometime.” Harvey replied. “Soon because it sounds like it’s going to close down soon.”

“Ass.” Mike rolled his eyes. “By the way, did I leave the picture at your place? I could have sworn I put it back into my wallet.” 

Harvey’s eyebrow twitched. He should have known that Mike would quickly notice the missing photo. “Not sure. I can check when you leave. I have to go back to my place anyways.”

Mike nodded in consent then quickly took off the blue shirt and looked for another shirt.

Harvey brought one of his legs up to rest his arm on it. He silently watched Mike change his shirt three times, his pants twice. Mike kept muttering something that Harvey couldn’t quite catch. Even though when Mike answered the door twenty minutes ago saying that Harvey didn’t need to be here, he knew. He knew the nerves that were coursing through Mike’s veins. That it was slowly eating away at him and that at any second he was ready to call it off. So, here Harvey was sitting on Mike’s bed watching his lover, boyfriend, and what-have-you, get dressed for his ex.

“You don’t have to dress up for him.” Harvey said finally, fiddling with Mike’s broken pocket watch. 

“I’m not. I just…” Mike paused. “Does this look nice?” Mike stretched out his arms showing off his slim figure. The white shirt rode up, showing a tantalizing soft patch of skin and the black pants hugged him nicely.

“Yeah.” Harvey’s nose twitched thinking about all the things he could do, and would do, seeing Mike in those pants.

“And that’s why I keep changing.” Mike muttered turning back to his dresser to find new pants.

“What are you talking about?” 

Mike hopped into another pair of pants before looking at Harvey. “Your nose twitched.”

“My nose twitched?” Harvey’s hand instinctively reached up to touch his nose.

“Your eyebrow twitches when you lie or you don’t like what someone says.” Mike said sitting next to Harvey on the bed. He gently touched Harvey’s eyebrow, before continuing he gently traced the contours of his face until his fingers brushed Harvey’s nose, “This twitches when you’re thinking dirty thoughts.” Mike let his fingers slowly slide down to Harvey’s parted lips. “I notice things.” Harvey leaned in to kiss Mike. There was no urgency in the kiss, only the here and now. 

“I can’t help it.” Harvey breathed against Mike’s lips. “You’re sexy, and I’m in love with you.”

“I know.” Mike replied. He pushed off the bed to stand. “That you love me. I just don’t want to give Trevor the wrong idea. If I wear something that you think is sexy then Trevor will definitely as well. And I just don’t want that.”

Mike turned back around to grab his watch off of the dresser. He sat at the foot of the bed to put his socks on.

“You shouldn’t have to be worried.” 

“Hm?” Mike looked over his shoulder. “What?”

“You shouldn’t have to be worried,” Harvey repeated before continuing, “that Trevor might think something just because of what you wear. You should be able to wear what you want to. Be confident in your own body.”

A slight smile crossed Mike’s face. “This is the real world. He’ll think I got all dressed up for him and who knows.” Mike shrugged like it wasn’t anything.

“I wouldn’t let him.”

Mike pet Harvey’s bent leg thinking of what to say. “Sometimes it isn’t just about confidence. I know him. I know how he thinks. I know what he will do. It isn’t about you letting him or anything. I just want to be done with him. That’s all.”

“All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t have to think about what you wear just because of him. You could wear the skin of your murder victim and he’d still want to have sex with you.”

“Okay, Hannibal.” Mike laughed.

“Hannibal was the cannibal.”

“I know but Buffalo Bill didn’t sound right. And I figured this was the closest I would ever get.” Mike stood up once more putting his wallet in his pocket. “You know I’ve been waiting to call you Hannibal for a really long time.”

“Because I eat people?”

Mike winked. “Thanks, you know for making this whole thing feel normal, for calming me. Just like you always do.”

“Remember call me as soon as you can. I just need to know that you’re safe.” Harvey stood up, caressing Mike’s cheek. “Promise me that you’ll be okay.” 

“I promise.” Mike whispered, closing his eyes he felt the slightest touch of Harvey’s lips like it was a promise of something else to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!


	11. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trevor and Mike talk.

You and I walk a fragile line  
I have known it all this time  
But I never thought I'd live to see it break  
It's getting dark and its all too quiet  
And I can't trust anything now

“Haunted” – Taylor Swift

**Chapter 11: Haunted**

The diner wasn’t any place entirely special. It had been a staple of the neighborhood for years. On the outside it certainly looked like it. The white paint was cracked or chipping all along with windows and door proudly showing how long Grammy’s had been open. If someone walked down the street it was easy to miss the diner. But it wasn’t the appearance that made the diner Mike’s favorite place; it was inside.

A bell jingled, when Mike stepped into the diner. And immediately he felt the warmth of home envelope him that he couldn’t help smiling. Mike walked up to the bar counter, leaning against it, he said, “hey gorgeous, long time no see.”

An elderly lady turned around toward the voice. Her stern face ready to scold whoever said that quickly fell. “Mikey! I haven’t seen you in so long. How have you been?”

“Fine, Edna. Do you know if Trevor is here?” Mike asked hugging Edna awkwardly across the counter.

Her smile faltered slightly. “When you two stopped coming here, I thought, hoped really, that you broke up with him. Grammy told me, you know.”

“I know, Edna, you’ve told me.” Mike sighed. Edna was like a second Grammy to him. In truth she probably was. She was Grammy’s best friend after all. “We are broken up. Sorry I haven’t been around. I got a new job that’s been killer.”

“Ah, just like this job on my callouses.”

“Thanks, for that visual.”

“Oh shush, my callouses have to go serve. By the way, he’s waiting at the usual table.” Edna said before grabbing a couple plates with her knobby fingers. 

Mike took a deep breath mentally telling himself that this was for the best. Slowly, he walked towards the back of the diner, to the table that he used to always share with Trevor. As if it nothing changed, Trevor sat with his back facing him and a framed picture hung above the table. Without even having to look, Mike knew that it was a picture of his parents, Grammy, Edna, and him smiling after a day on the boardwalk. That was one of the main reason he loved coming to this diner. It was like having dinner with his parents again.

“Hey.” Mike said sliding into the booth across from Trevor.

“Hey.” Trevor smiled fondly. “I’m buying, so order whatever.” He pushed the thick plastic covered menu. “I thought about getting you a burger because I know how much you love them, but the cholesterol wouldn’t help with your stress.” Trevor said like he was doing a huge favor for Mike.

“Thanks.” Mike mumbled taking the menu.

“So how was work?” Trevor asked. He reached forward as to grab Mike’s hand. Mike quickly withdrew his hand placing it on his lap.

“Fine.” Mike replied letting the menu fall onto the table. “I mean...it was fine. I left a little early to get ready. I didn’t want to come here in a suit. I’m pretty sure someone would think I was a food inspector.”

Trevor chuckled. “Yeah they would.”

“What can I get you, sweeties?” Edna said walking up to with a notepad in hand and a barely concealed frown on her face. Although in fairness that frown was always there.

“Grammy’s Special.” Trevor said politely handing her the menus.

“Just coffee.” Mike said in a soft voice.

“Mike you gotta eat something. You’re so skinny.”

“So the usual. Got it.” Edna said tapping her pen on the notepad aggressively. “I’m going to bring you two Grammy’s Specials and you’re going to eat it. Got it Mike? Trevor?”

Mike and Trevor nodded.

“That old lady is always getting into everyone’s business.” Trevor mumbled.

Mike sighed. “You have two hours Trev.”

“Okay. God, you’re so rude now.” Trevor said sipping his water.

Mike rolled his eyes. He shifted in his seat trying to figure out what to say. It was always difficult to know what to say to Trevor. Even now, without the fear of his touch anymore, Mike’s jaw clamped shut afraid of saying something stupid. It was better to let Trevor control the conversation.

“How are you doing?” Trevor asked.

“Fine.” Mike mumbled.

The muscles lining Trevor’s jaw tightened, Mike licked his lip. “You look nice. Hope you didn’t dress with me in mind.” 

Mike could feel Trevor’s eyes tracing a path from his lips down.

“Uh, I didn’t. Harvey was there. When I was changing.” Mike said. A fire burned in Trevor’s eyes as he stared coldly into Mike’s. “He, uh, just wanted to make sure I was okay.”

“Why wouldn’t you be?”

Every reason began racing through Mike’s mind. He slowly opened his mouth, heart pounding to say the things he never had the courage to earlier.

“Alright boys, two Grammy’s special.” Edna said placing two steaming plates of hamburger steak on the table. “Enjoy.”

Mike smiled at Edna softly.

“We had some good times.”

“Mostly bad though.”

Trevor looked down at his plate as if contemplating what to say in response. “I didn’t mean for things to happen like that.”

“Like that…” Mike scoffed. “You mean, you didn’t mean to use me like a punching bag? Is that what you mean? Because I’m pretty sure you said that several times but nothing changed. You never stopped even though you promised you would.”

“Mike.” Trevor said. His voice sounding like he was reprimanding a child for touching something he was told not to. “I’m just trying to have a conversation.”

Mike leaned back against his seat, picking up his fork he began pushing the food around. “You said you wanted to apologize. But to do that you have to actually talk about what you did. But let’s be honest, how am I ever supposed to forgive someone like you?” Mike shook his head. “It’s not just about the party or your bratty attitude since then. Or even the fact that you told Harvey that you wanted me back knowing we’re dating. It’s that every time I look at you I remember everything that happened. I still remember every disgusting thing you said and the sound of bone breaking.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me.” Trevor replied after a while. Then softly, “I don’t know how you could.”

Mike scratched his forehead, sighing. “Then why make me go through all of this? Why not just give me back my things and leave me the hell alone. I was having a great life. Why did you have to come back and torment me?”

“I _am_ trying to apologize, Mike, it wasn’t my fault--”

“Every time anything happened you always blamed someone else. It’s time for you take the blame. The abuse I suffered was because of you. I was the victim and you were the abuser. God! I can’t believe it took me this long to say any of this to you. For the first time I finally get why you needed me. You’re a child having a temper tantrum, needing someone to blame for your failings.”

Trevor picked at his food. Mike watched Trevor slowly eat his food with a frown like he was thinking back to a time long ago. It was times like these that always made him wonder what Trevor’s life was like when he was a kid. They never really talked about it. All he really knew was that Trevor’s mom packed a bag one day and he never heard from her again. That was how they bonded. They were just two college kids with parents who missed out on their lives. The circumstances were different but they both became cynical of others. People always died or left someone behind. So, it was always, supposed to be Trevor and Mike against the world, against ever leaving someone behind. Always. They made that promise drunkenly one night under the Coney Island pier letting the freezing ocean lick their toes. They were going to be together forever. 

“I know.” Trevor said. “You left me without a word. I was just angry with you and the world. But yet, I still love you.”

“Stop saying that. You don’t. You can’t still love me. You never did.” Mike said barely containing a shout. “If you did, you wouldn’t have done any of that shit you pulled.”

“Regardless of what you say, I know my feelings. But I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry.” Trevor turned his head looking at the picture on the wall. “But there were good moments too, weren’t there?”

The anger inside of Mike that was just unleashed receded leaving him feeling exhausted and too tired to stop the memories from coming back.

“We did, Trev, which was why I stayed as long as I did. I kept thinking you would be the person I loved once again. You made me think that I was the reason why you were so angry at everything. But then there would be these moments where you would do something that reminded me of a time before the abuse. There was one thing that I managed to take with me.” Mike said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small seashell. “I took it the first time we went to Coney Island. Everything that was important and good happened to us there. The shell was like this token I used to wish on hoping that everything would be better.”

They sat in silence thinking about everything that happened and what could have been.

“Sweethearts, all finished? Do you want dessert?” Edna said startling both men out of their thoughts. 

Mike shook his head. He looked down at his somewhat eaten food knowing he wouldn’t be able to finish it.

“Just the check. Thanks Edna.” Trevor said smiling softly.

It only took a few minutes for Trevor to take care of the check and for them to walk out into the brisk night air.

“Thanks for agreeing to see me. I know you didn’t want to, and it was more like extortion. But thanks.” Trevor pulled out his car keys spinning the key ring on his finger. “Your stuff is in my car. I can give it to you now or drive you to your place. I promise I won’t do anything inappropriate.”

Mike looked down at his watch. Half an hour before he has to call Harvey. “Um.” Mike chewed on his lip thinking about his options. The thought of sitting next to Trevor in a small space left Mike unable to breathe. “I’ll just catch a taxi or something.”

Trevor nodded leading the way to his car. “Okay.” Mike didn’t miss the slight frown. 

They quickly got to a sleek black Civic. Mike smiled to himself. Regardless of the way Trevor presented himself, he never changed; he was always a sensible man over flash. 

“Have you and…Harvey gone to Edna’s before?” Trevor asked suddenly as he popped open the trunk.

“No. Not really his place.”

Trevor nodded. “Yeah, he seems too stuck up for a home-cooked meal. He would probably get hives from sitting on the vinyl seats.”

“Trevor.” Mike warned. “He’s not like that.”

“Then why wouldn’t it be his place? We used to make fun of guys like him.”

“And now a _guy like him_ is your lawyer and you’re about to become partners with _a guy like him_.”

“I didn’t say that they weren’t necessary. It’s just; you were never really into the whole Manhattan lifestyle. I can picture his condo. Kitchen filled with chrome and appliances he doesn’t use or even know how to use. Walls of glass just to admire the view of the city. And just the essential furniture all made with luxurious fabrics. Definitely no room for a panda painting that his grandmother painted.”

“She died before Harvey was born.” Mike mumbled. He was a little unsettled that Trevor knew exactly what Harvey’s place looked like.

“His condo was featured in a magazine. If that’s what you were wondering.” Trevor smirked. “But still, you were always more into feeling at home, anything that reminded you home, your parents, and Grammy. Harvey’s place seems more like everything has its place. Does it have room for you?”

“What are you trying to do? I thought you said you weren’t going to do anything inappropriate.”

“I’m just trying to have a conversation.”

“Well I’d prefer if you didn’t.” Mike said.

Trevor nodded.

“So about that cab?” Trevor asked pulling Mike out of his thoughts. “I’ll wait with you.”

Mike quickly nodded and pulled out his phone. The taxi company said someone would be over right away. As they waited, Mike lightly tapped his fingers on top of the box. The events of the nights left a strange feeling. Not that he wanted it, but he had assumed that Trevor would have tried something. It would have made sense. But this: the silence, Trevor listening to him, and even reminiscing about the good times, made Mike uncomfortable. 

“Thanks Trevor for dinner and for bringing me my things.” Mike said suddenly.

Mike couldn’t help the flinch when Trevor touched his wrist. “Sorry. I was serious about wanting to win you back. I know what you’re going to say, it’s never going to happen. But, just listen, for once Mike. You carried around a stupid shell hoping for everything to get better. I carried a business, hoping you’d love me again.” Trevor slowly started to close the gap between the two of them. He lightly touched Mike’s arm. “I still think about you.”

Mike closed his eyes, clenching his fists. “You never did.” Mike opened his eyes staring coldly into Trevor’s. “If you did, you wouldn’t have put me through hell. You wouldn’t have hit me, insulted me, or even touched me at the party.”

“What happened at the party was a mistake. I know I always screw up. But all I’m asking for is a second chance. I changed. If you’d just give me a second chance I know I could prove it to you.” Every stroke of Trevor’s thumb on Mike’s hand shortened his breath. Mike closed his eyes, biting his lip. “I know I fucked up. I always do. It’s why my company was a fucking mess. Then when you left, I realized something had to change. I thought, hoped, that if I could fix something instead of for once breaking it, you’d come back. You’d come back to me and love me. So, I focused on fixing my business and it worked. But, now…I don’t know. It’s not doing so well. That’s why I asked for more things.”

Mike took a deep breath, “I’m really happy for you, Trevor, I am. I’ve always known that you could do it. I never needed the money or your business. I just needed you.” Mike said slowly pulling back his hand. “But sometimes, things break and you can’t just fix it. You killed it that day you hit me.” 

“Mike.” Trevor said in a voice that startled Mike. “I was told not to…But I have to.” Trevor shook his head eyes wide, tightening his grip. For the first time, Mike was truly afraid for his life. “No.” Trevor shook his head again. 

“Trevor, please. Just calm down. And we can talk about this.” Mike said stroking Trevor’s shoulders like he used to. When he tried to calm the bull from attacking.

“No.” Trevor repeated in a much steadier voice. “I have to warn you about Harvey.”

“What?” That was enough to pull Mike out of his panic. 

“Harvey isn’t the kind of person you think he is. He’s not some noble person or even your fucking hero. He didn’t save you that day. He’s just been waiting to show you his true fucking nature. We’re similar, Harvey and I. He threatened me when I first told him that I was going to win you back, did he tell you? We love you, get jealous easily, and will do anything for you.” Trevor smiled. 

“What are you talking about?” Mike said. 

“Do you know about the deposition in a couple of days? McHale called to warn me Scottie was submitting a subpoena to get you on record about our relationship.” Trevor said finally.

“Yeah.” Mike lied. In a way he knew. The morning after he told Harvey about the hospital visit, the picture was gone from his wallet. He just didn’t want to believe Harvey would do something like that.

"Mike," Trevor said harshly grabbing Mike wrist in a bruising grip. 

“Let go. Let me go Trevor.” Mike’s voice started shaking in between small gasps. “You’re hurting me!”

"Please I am begging you lie or don't say anything. Please this company is all I have left and I can't watch it get destroyed. Everything I touch is destroyed. I destroyed us…and this is the last thing I have. Everyone leaves me. Everyone is gone. Everything is gone. Please. If you ever loved me please, don’t say anything. I built this company for you. I promise after this I'll never bother you again if that’s what you want.” Trevor said begging. Tears had started to well up in his eyes. “Everyone else left me, but I just can’t lose this company. It’s the last thing I have that I care about.” There was so much desperation and despair in Trevor’s voice that it tore at Mike’s heart. 

“I can’t. I trust Harvey and Scottie.” Mike whispered because regardless of everything that happened, he was seeing the man he met on the first day of school. He saw Trevor as the scared, yet hopeful, college kid again who wanted to prove he was capable of anything.

“Mike, you trusted him, you told him what happened between us, and he went and told someone else. Can you really trust him?” Trevor whispered.

Mike opened his mouth and slowly closed.

The honking from a yellow taxi car saved him from answering. And the worse part was that Mike didn’t know what he was going to say.

Trevor quickly let go of Mike’s arm that was forgotten and grabbed the box from the trunk. The taxi driver got out of the car, popped open the trunk, and place the box inside.

“Is everything okay, sirs?” The driver asked. Mike must have nodded or Trevor said something because the drive nodded his head and went back to car. 

“Please. Even if you hate me, don’t trust Harvey. For once trust me, he’s not all that he seems. You must know that. He hides things. He hid the fact that I asked for you to be one my case.” Trevor said softly, the desperation leaving him as quickly as it came.

“That was to protect me.” Mike swallowed thickly. “From you.”

Trevor nodded. “That’s how it started for me too. I thought I was protecting you.”

Mike jumped when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He looked around startled to see that he somehow managed to get to his apartment. Pulling out his phone, he dragged his hand down his face.

“Hello?” Mike’s voice came out raspy. When did he start crying?

“What did he do?” Harvey’s deep growl sounded like an unwavering rock that Mike needed to feel grounded again. 

“Nothing.” Mike quickly replied wiping the tears away with his sleeve. “Honestly.”

“Then why do you sound like you were crying?”

“It’s stupid. You’re going to think it’s stupid.” Mike babbled as more tears started falling. “I don’t know. It’s just...I promise.”

“Do you want me to come over.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m outside.”

“What?”

“I’m outside your place. I came over when you didn’t answer the first time.”

Mike smiled knowing that Harvey always knew what he needed. Then everything Trevor said replayed in his head. Mike released the breath he was didn’t know he was holding and unlocked his door.

Harvey’s eyes swept over Mike taking in everything about his appearance, looking for anything, any blemish. But all he saw was a scared kid that reminded him so much like the day at the Chilton all over again. Gently and quietly, Harvey led Mike to the bedroom. He had Mike stand by the bed as he knelt and removed Mike’s shoes then his socks. He slipped his hand under Mike’s jacket.

“No.” Mike whispered gripping the sleeved tightly.

Harvey nodded without any questions, but began removing Mike’s pants instead. Similarly, Harvey slowly removed his own clothes. When they both shed as much clothes as they were willing, Harvey held Mike’s hand leading him to the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed. And once more Harvey led Mike back to the bed only releasing his hand to pull the covers back allowing Mike to slip under. Harvey walked out the door feeling Mike’s eyes follow him listening to him turn the bolt lock, flick the lights off, finally the soft footsteps back the bedroom.

“So what happened?” Harvey asked once he had Mike in his arms. He stroked his thumb over Mike’s jacket trying not to let on his concern for why Mike kept the jacket on.

“He told me that he changed and he apologized for everything. He wanted a second chance.”

“Do you want to get back together with him?” Harvey swallowed.

“Oh god no!” Mike said turning toward Harvey quickly. He tilted his head up kissing Harvey. “That’s what’s so fucking stupid. I don’t know why I was crying. I just...when I told him I was never going to get back with him, it felt like...I don’t know how to explain it. I know deep down the Trevor I knew before the abuse is in there, and I keep thinking that some how I was letting him down. Like I gave up on him. What if the second chance was all he needed to go back to being that person?”

“You gave him a lot of second chances. If he hasn’t changed by now I doubt he will. It doesn’t make you a bad person for walking away. You have to look out for yourself, too.” Harvey said kissing Mike again longer this time. There wasn’t any urgency behind the kiss, but it was enough for Mike to feel calm and himself again.

“You know I love you and would do anything for you.” Harvey whispered against Mike’s lips. “I would never hurt you.”

“Yeah.” Mike nodded. But he couldn’t help the dark tendrils that started to reach across his mind planting doubt in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mike is definitely not going back to Trevor. 
> 
> I will probably do minor edits later because I have a tendency to reread the chapter after publishing it and going oh shit.
> 
> Next time...deposition...a fight...and abandonment?


	12. 100x

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for disappearing. RL doesn't leave much time for much else.

I swear I tried to leave you  
At least a hundred times a day  
I swear I tried to tell you  
A thousand times, a different way  
I need out, on my own, I don't wanna live this way

"100x" - Tegan & Sara

**Chapter 12: 100x**

Mike, Scottie, and because Harvey insisted, Harvey, sat at the table in the deposition room at Pearson Specter Litt. Scottie sat on one side next to the camera that was pointed at Mike and Harvey. The camera and the stupid microphone stared at Mike as if it knew every little secret that he tried to keep hidden. The air in the room suddenly seemed thin like he was speeding on his bike, winding through the Manhattan traffic. His mind flashed back to several days ago.

Trevor had been telling the truth; the one time he tells the truth it had to be about this. Scottie came up to Mike the day after the dinner to tell him about the deposition. Her exact words were that she could go get a judge to sign the paper or he could volunteer the information. If he volunteered then no one outside of the room, and McHale, would have to know about what they talked about. Her voice matching that stupid pity smile she had, instead of her usual shark-like smile. In that instance, Mike knew; he knew that Scottie knew the truth. But even though he had every right to be, he wasn’t mad at Harvey. He couldn’t bring himself to be mad at him. He was just tired; tired of his past trying to bring him down every time he thought he had finally escaped it.

Scottie folded her hands on top of her papers trying to look unimposing. Even though she had been to several depositions like this before, talking about sensitive, personal matters. This one was the hardest. She knew him to the point she almost thought of him as an annoying little brother. “Can you please state your name for the record?” She flashed Mike a smile hoping that it was warming rather than her usual courtroom smile.

“Mike.” Scottie repeated softly.

Mike breathed out slowly. “Michael James Ross.” 

“Do you understand the reason for this meeting?” Scottie asked calmly. 

Mike shook his head.

“We’re here to talk about your relationship with Trevor Evans. My client, McHale, wants to merge with him; however, he first wants to know of the relationship between you and Evans because he believes it’s indicative of Evan’s business capabilities.” The way Scottie said it, reminded Mike of someone trying to talk to a scared dog, like she was worried that he was going to jump out the window. Perhaps. Anything was better than reliving those five years. He had spent the past few years convincing himself that it was a bad dream. He was still numb from telling Harvey. “Mike, do you understand?”

Mike blinked up at Scottie and nodded.

“Mike, I need you to say that you understand.”

“He understands.” Harvey said. He leaned back in his chair tapping his fingers together. “Just get to the point.” 

Harvey glanced at Mike noticing the way Mike’s fingers played with the hems of his right sleeve. It was hard for him to sit there, knowing that he was basically forcing Mike to relive everything once more. He just had to keep reminding himself that it was for the best. That in the end everything was going to be better. It had to be because after all of this, Trevor was going to be gone, out of their lives. And then they’d be able to live and breathe easier. They could go back to being Harvey and Mike again instead of Harvey and Mike and the cloud of doom.

“Why are you here again?” Scottie asked shooting him a glare before changing her disposition back to her usual self. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“He’s my associate.”

Scottie raised her eyebrows challenging his statement.

“Um. Can we…” Mike asked shifting uncomfortably. 

“Sure.” Scottie smiled softly. “What is your relationship with Trevor?”

“None. I mean…” Mike sighed rubbing his forehead, “we used to date.” Mike said tapering off at the end. “It was awhile ago.”

Scottie nodded. “Go on.”

“What do you want me to say?” Mike asked. He pulled at his sleeves more and more. Harvey glanced up just in time to see Trevor turn a corner. 

“Nothing that isn’t true about your relationship with Evans.” Scottie said sweetly even though Mike’s stomach churned. The muscles in his jaw clenched in time with his wavering determination. Determination to do what, Mike wasn’t entirely sure.

Harvey watched the uncertainty grow more and more in Mike. And all he could do was hope that he was doing the right thing. 

The deposition continued with Scottie asking question after question with Mike remaining silent. What was their relationship like? How did they meet? What did Evans do? How did Evans get he money? She continued to bombard Mike with questions. And yet, he stared at the table as if hoping that he could burn a hole through the metal. 

The memories from the other night kept flashing through his mind. It wasn’t really about appeasing Trevor or even letting him control him one last time. It was more that Mike understood. He got that Trevor wanted to save something so badly that he would do anything to save it. That was how he survived, wasn’t it? Harvey and him both did everything to hide the fact that one of them didn’t have a license. So, Mike understood wanting to protect everything. What he didn’t understand though was what was his role. He didn’t really have a choice with Trevor or with becoming a lawyer or even now. Sure, he wanted to be a lawyer but the extent that they went to, was it really worth it? And now, he was practically being forced to speak about something that he never wanted to relive. 

What was he going to have to do to make sure he could finally move on and be his own person again? His entire life felt like he was trying to push his way through a crowd just to stand out. The harder he fought against it, the more he was shoved back into the anonymity. Until finally he stopped. It eventually just became easier to be someone else’s. At least someone knew him and saw him; at least someone loved him. But when was he going to finally be Mike again rather than Trevor’s ex-boyfriend or Harvey’s puppy? When could he be Mike again? When did he lose himself? 

Scottie quickly glanced at Harvey trying to figure out what else he wanted her to do. There really wasn’t much she could do if Mike didn’t want to answer. Throughout all the years that Scottie knew Harvey, this was one of the few times she ever saw him truly frustrated. Not frustrated like he is with a case where the opposing counsel wasn’t willing to give anything up. This was the face of a frustrated man trying to save the person he loved. 

Scottie sighed turning off the recorder. “This isn’t getting us anywhere.”

Mike slowly lifted his head like a weight had been lifted. 

“We’re done.” Harvey glared at Scottie knowing that she meant it in more ways than one. “Let’s go Mike.” Harvey said. He held out his hand for Mike. “She doesn’t know when to quit.”

“Hang on—“ Scottie said slamming her hand on the table. “That’s not fair, Harvey!”

Harvey tightened his grip on Mike’s hand feeling him jump at the harsh sound. “Come on.” Harvey practically dragged Mike into the bathroom. He held Mike firmly against the sink. Mike nodded understanding that he wasn’t to move from the spot. Methodologically, Harvey checked all the stalls and then finally locked the door not wanting to be interrupted.

“What happened in there?” Harvey asked finally leaning against the sink next to Mike. 

“Nothing.” Mike mumbled. “Harv, I don’t want to talk about it. Can we please just go back out there and forget this ever happened?”

Harvey shook his head. “You were ready to talk. I could tell. Then you saw Trevor.” Mike paled at the mention of his name. “Yeah I saw him. And I saw the way that you were holding your arm. What happened that night you talked to him? That night you wouldn’t let me remove your shirt.”

“Nothing Harvey. I just…” Mike started taking a deep breath. “Just drop it already. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Harvey reached for Mike’s arm quickly unbuttoning the cuffs before Mike could pull away. 

“Stop!” Mike said trying to yank his arm away. “Let go!”

Harvey ignored Mike’s pleas to roll up the sleeves. Once the five splotchy yellowish-green spots came into view, Mike stopped struggling. It was like everything had just stopped. Harvey stopped pulling at the sleeve instead placing his own fingers on the same spots albeit a little off center and tenderly. After what felt like hours, Harvey finally looked up to meet Mike’s dark cerulean eyes.

“It’s not what you think.” Mike started softly. He placed his hand on top of Harvey’s. 

“I’m going to kill him.” Harvey said quietly but with such certainty that it sent a shiver down Mike’s spine. 

“Please, let’s talk about this.” Mike said holding Harvey’s hand trying to calm him down.

“Trevor deserves what he gets.” Harvey said gently peeling Mike’s hand off of his. He marched toward the door unlocking it and throwing it open.

“Harvey!” Mike shouted chasing after him unable to keep up with the man on a mission.

“Oh there you are.” Louis said stopping Harvey.

“I don’t have time for your stupid cat or fucking shit.” Harvey said not stopping for anything.

“Then I guess you don’t care that Evans has been asking for you.” Louis shouted. “He’s in your office.”

“Stop!” The shrill of Donna’s voice shouted over the sound of glass breaking. 

“What’s going on?” Mike asked jogging up to them finally catching up to Harvey.

“I came back and they just started fighting. Mike.”

“Harvey! Trevor! Stop!” Mike shouted unsure of what to do. Someone in the growing crowd shouted something about getting security. 

Harvey and Trevor continued throwing punches and blocking each other, boxing skills matching street fighting. 

“The moment I saw the two you I knew you were fucking him. He fucking whores himself out to the next person. That’s how he got to where he is now, isn’t it?”

“You’re just another piece of shit. Did it make you feel strong beating Mike up?” Harvey spat out at Trevor completely unaware of the crowd. “Did breaking his ribs make you feel like a man? You think you’re tough? A real man doesn’t do shit like that.”

“Don’t get all high and mighty fucking asshole.” Trevor shouted back. “You’re not some fucking knight.” Trevor smirked. “I told him that you would betray him.”

The look on Harvey’s face darkened signaling something more dangerous was to come. Deciding enough was enough, Mike walked into the middle of the fight grabbing for Harvey’s arm just as Harvey aimed a punch at Trevor. Trevor ducked, dodging Harvey’s left hook, which instead caught Mike in the eye.

And just like that the fire that had consumed Harvey disappeared leaving a room of destruction crashing into focus. “Fuck.” Harvey whispered he tentatively reached for Mike’s shoulders. “Mike, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Walking past Harvey, Mike asked, “Trevor, are you okay?” He gently held Trevor’s hand examining the bloody knuckles and the bruises that began forming. 

“You’re asking him if he’s okay?” Harvey asked incredulously. He scoffed as the flame started to come back.

“Donna can you take Trevor to the get some ice?” Mike asked turning to Donna. Donna nodded leading Trevor away through the parted crowd.

Harvey pointed at Trevor’s retreating form, “He called you a whore.” Harvey said completely flabbergasted.

“You think I haven’t heard that before? He’s called me worse.” Mike said holding Harvey’s outstretched hand looking at his red knuckles leading him to the couch. “I’ve heard every insult…and every apology.”

Harvey gently stroked the bruise on Mike’s cheek. “I am sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to. I was aiming for him.”

“I know.” Mike smiled softly holding Harvey’s hand on his lap, he said, “You’re going to need some ice.”

“I would do anything for you.” Harvey replied.

“Harvey Specter!” Jessica’s voice punctuated the room in a way that made Mike cringe the same way as when Grammy scolded him. “You better have a damn good explanation.” If it was possible there would have been flames radiating off of her as she stood in the doorway with her hands crossed.

Mike stood and straightened his jacket. “Actually Jessica I can explain.”

“Mike, you don’t,” Harvey started shaking his head ready to take the punishment.

Mike shook his head. “Jessica can we talk in private?”

Jessica cocked her eyebrow, silently turned on her heel and marched back to her office.

“You know this feels right.” Mike said. He held Harvey’s hand gently like it was the most precious thing in the world. Softly Mike traced circles with his thumb.

Harvey slid his fingers to interlock with Mike’s. It was the first time they held hands in public. A frown ghosted Mike’s lips like it knew something that Harvey didn’t. “I love—“ Harvey started.

Mike pressed a chaste kiss to Harvey’s quieting the other man. “I know.” Mike whispered. “But I don’t.”

With that Mike walked away letting Harvey’s fingers slip away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And sorry for the ending...it gets better? ._.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Let me know what you think!


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